A Very Specific Kind Of Wonderful

The ever-besieged BBC is currently earning its keep by showing two ambitious series about music; The Sound and the Fury, which focuses on the composers of the 20th Century, and is part of a festival held in London’s Southbank inspired by Alex Ross’ The Rest Is Noise, and Howard Goodall’s Story of Music which takes on an even more daunting task, that of attempting to show how Western music has developed over centuries. Goodall’s series has been viewed with some critical complaint; while The Sound and the Fury attempts to make relatively popular 20th Century composers like Glass, Pärt and Reich more accessible to a sceptical public, knowledgeable critics have viewed Goodall’s series as too light, too sprawling to provide true insight into the evolution of the form, or how music is created. (I always assumed it was something like this.)

Which, if you’ll forgive the outburst, is hot bollocks.[1] To those who have grown up in an environment in which the progression in musical theory and artistic complexity from Bach to Mozart to Beethoven is part of a balanced and thorough education, all of this might seem obvious, but it’s all new to me, and talk of minor thirds and intervals, harmonic progressions and the Circle of Fifths, equal temperament and twelve-tone serialism, has been fascinating. For those of us unlucky enough to have been put off from learning about such things due to financial contraints in childhood, this has been public-service broadcasting at its best, and Howard Goodall’s populist but challenging commentary is perfectly pitched. I’ve learned more about music in the last month than in all the years before it (that’s a lot of years; don’t bother asking for further clarification on that).

A couple of weeks ago Goodall compared the works of Liszt and Wagner, semi-contemporaries working at different ends of the musical, emotional spectrum. He discussed the idea of music inspired by Impressionism, operas or symphonic poems that would conjure up specific emotions or images, telling stories through use of leitmotif and thematic transformation, narrative provided through repetition and symbolism. This was the programme that was running through my head, sustained by a hastily Spotified Tannhäuser, as I walked into the cinema to watch Terrence Malick’s To The Wonder, and it became impossible to separate the new ideas planted in my head by Goodall from the overwhelmingly emotional and evocative vision so expertly created by the elusive filmmaker.

Reviews of To The Wonder will inevitably struggle to describe the seemingly amorphous movie, a collage of imagery almost entirely without dialogue. Nevertheless, the Wikipedia synopsis — “A romantic drama centered on an American man who reconnects with a woman from his hometown after his marriage to a European woman falls apart” — is misleading. I’ve seen this elsewhere and can’t help but be repeatedly astonished. Yes, Malick is interested in much more than just one story about one relationship; this is a film about all relationships, between lovers, between a single person and his fellow humans, between the earthly and the divine, as you would expect from the great man. Yet it’s worth noting that in trying to boil this complex tapestry down to a line you would assume this is specifically a film about a man and his relationships, when in fact the film begins and ends with Olga Kurylenko’s Marina[2], a woman who is in almost every shot of the movie except for a small section about a third of the way through, and whose voiceover is the viewer’s companion for almost the film’s entirety. But then I guess she’s not the biggest star in the film.

Affleck plays Neil, a nearly mute geologist who we first see on holiday in France with Marina, both deeply in love with each other, joyfully travelling to the island fortress/commune of Mont St. Michel in Normandy. From here we see them and Marina’s daughter Tatiana (from a previous, broken marriage) move to Neil’s home in the American Midwest, where the relationship falters for reasons unspecified, though intuitively experienced by the audience; more on that in a moment. Marina and Tatiana leave, and Neil rekindles a romance with Jane (Rachel McAdams, whose role amounts to an extended cameo; sorry, McAdams fans). It’s not long before Neil’s hesitance and sense of duty to Marina leads to him abandoning Jane and marrying his former lover, who returns to the US with legal documentation on her side. The rest of the film details the ups and downs of their relationship, while a subplot about a priest (Javier Bardem) struggling with his faith plays alongside.

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This sounds plotted, in the sense of depicting a series of events in a temporally ordered, causal fashion, but this is all conveyed without dialogue and using only elliptical voiceovers ruminating on faith and love (with dashes of exposition added here or there to cover patches of unseen time or untranslatable legal concepts such as visa laws). Malick’s use of visual symbolism to convey plot reminded me of Carlos Reygadas’ Post Tenebras Lux (which, in turn, reminded me of The Tree of Life), an interesting film which dealt with the terrifying impotent reactions of men to the unknown in nature and femininity. It too told its story through a web of imagery and juxtapositions, mocking the pretensions of modern civilisation in a world of ferocious hostility, but without a recognisable A-B-C narrative structure the effort to unravel Reygadas’ meaning took its toll. As an intellectual exercise Post Tenebras Lux is fascinating, but it’s also almost defiantly obtuse, almost alienating. This was my best effort at parsing it.

The same mental effort was expended in trying to come up with a coherent theory of what Malick was trying to do in To The Wonder, even more so than with The Tree of Life, with its cosmic scope balanced with the intimacy of its main thread; the cold vastness of the universe compared to the emotional failings of an aloof father, the possibility of redemption for men broken by a lack of nurturing, the pain that exists in a human contrasted with the gargantuan geological timespan and the trip from birth to a time beyond time, an afterlife in which God’s love exists as the only truth. As Malick spends much of Tree of Life layering together imagery in a pretty straightforward way — galactic segues notwithstanding — it offers easily-digestible narrative without much guidance. It’s there if you’re willing to look for it.

To The Wonder is arguably even more impressionistic. It lacks The Tree of Life‘s epic scope, taking a slice of time from four lives and showing their emotional and intellectual struggle through allusion, both visual and aural.[3] Drilling down into the human, which some might say is, in comparison to the breadth of Tree of Life, relatively trivial, might account for much of the criticism levelled at this. I can understand that. And yet I realised at the mid-point of the movie that as I struggled to interpret every repeated motif as metaphor hinting at grand themes, Malick’s mastery of the form was such that the actual plot of the movie was clear enough to follow without prompting; without any effort expended, even. Scale no longer mattered, thanks to this elegance, this precision. The story was laid as if colours were being painted onto my mind, a picture forming without me even realising. Whereas direct storytellers impart information through action and in-film communication, Malick was telling a story through movement, light, colour and music.

This form of storytelling is no doubt nothing new, but to someone (i.e. me) who is trying to write #TheProject — a heavily-plotted and comparatively conventional trilogy with criss-crossing arcs and broadly drawn characters and themes — it’s intriguing to see Inferential Narrative done to this extent, as an experiment in how far Malick can take the method. While Reygadas’ movie was so cold that attempting to engage with it was like chipping away at a block of ice, Malick’s movie is warm and encompassing, even if it isn’t the wishy-washy meditation on love and God of popular misconception. Mood is here conveyed through precise composition or movement of actor and camera in clearly realised spaces, or by changes in lighting or colour tone, or ambient sound mixed with a range of beautifully evocative pieces by Shostakovich or Dvořák or Górecki; characters or places as notes, scenes as refrains, narrative as symphony.[4]

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These techniques obviously aren’t unique to Malick, and to be honest it’s the least you’d expect from a real filmmaker, but by stripping away dialogue[5] and using only blunt metaphor mixed with inference he’s proving that that’s all you need, and this technique can create moments of incredible power; more than once I found myself moved to tears without understanding why this was happening. While my mind whirred in an attempt to find a pattern in this montage, Malick had reached into my heart and squeezed. All this in a movie about some really kinda selfish and lost people who almost defy sympathy, whose misunderstandings and heightened expectations are raised to an operatic level by Malick’s attentions. We have no need of the cosmic in this film; Malick’s eye and ear are enough to transform mundane inspections about the modern mind into something transcendental. This unapologetic approach is something his detractors mock, but if you’re able to tune into his wavelength the result can be insight, emotion, even awe.

Initial reports of audience reactions to this movie were mixed — if you wish to be forgiving — though it has received more than its fair share of dismissive mocking; Malick’s sincerity seemed to only be accepted by some viewers when matched with a sporadic output. Familiarity has now bred contempt. It doesn’t help that the arguably shapeless nature of the narrative, coupled with a greater knowledge of Malick’s seemingly unformed and random filming process, has led to charges that he’s lazily filming people aimlessly walking around and then editing it together with a voiceover to give some kind of structure. There’s a case to be made for that, though I’d argue that the shot of Neil, now alone in his sparsely-decorated and suddenly shadow-filled house following Marina and Tatiana’s departure, walking past a dipping bird at the bottom of the frame, shows there is purpose here. Call this an obvious metaphor for Neil’s inability to break out of a pattern if you want, but don’t also accuse Malick of making it up as he goes along.

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Some good articles have been written about it as well, none more thrilling than Bilge Ebiri’s excellent theory in which he suggests that the continual movement of the characters is evidence that To The Wonder is to be considered as a ballet. Certainly this is suggested directly within the film; at one point Marina handles a pair of ballet shoes. It also makes sense when you see the numerous pirouettes performed by Marina and Tatiana (and, if memory serves me, Jane too), and with these three women moving around Neil in a pas de deux. These movements are dialogues or monologues, often with only a few different phrases — twirling as expressions of ecstatic joy, movement around other people as either borne of compassion or rejection, movement in rooms either as explorations of new surroundings or the pacing of trapped animals. With these few phrases Malick creates a complex and intuitive visual language, and instinctively we understand the evolution of the relationships, helped by his use of light and shadow, the changing of his palette from soft golds to flat browns to cold blues or greens.

(From this point on I’m going to get into specifics about the plot and what I think Malick’s movie means, so if you want to see it without this interpretation rattling around in your head then progress no further. I’ll just say this about the movie and then you can leave; To The Wonder represents the most pure expression of Malick’s filmmaking philosophy to date, and if you haven’t enjoyed his last few films then perhaps avoid this one too. But I’d argue that exposure to this full-on burst of Malickian methodology is worthwhile just on a technical level — the photography by Emmanuel Lubezki is breathtaking, and Erik Aadahl’s sound design is intelligent and does wonders in establishing tone or hinting at details unspoken — and to see Olga Kurylenko’s expressive physicality pretty much carry the film. As time wears on I realise what an interesting but oft-ill-served actress she has become, and hope that she finds challenging projects in future.)

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Beyond those elements are the specific visual signifiers and contrasts, starting with a quest for ecstasy — either religious or emotional — and eventually depicting depression borne of captivity as euphoria’s diametral state. At the start of the film we see Marina and Neil drive to Mont St. Michel, where they ascend stairs to reach the Cloister — this being La Merveille, aka The Wonder, of the title. This is during the first flush of love, the moment in their relationship during which they will feel the most overwhelming emotions, that lift the spirit up from the body, as shown by the continual upward pans of the camera, repeatedly leaving the ground to look up to the sky. The two lovers keep touching the things around them, as if holding themselves down to prevent them from flying up into the heavens; two people made weightless by the power of their feelings. This sets up the Wonder as the thing that all the characters want to get to, and though they manage it from time to time, they will ultimately be thwarted. This is not a sentimental film about the wonder of love; this is an exploration of the futility of chasing transient feelings of joy.

From then on Malick’s camera no longer pans up to the sky; Neil and Marina’s European sojourn ends and they move from the verticals of Europe to the horizontals of the Midwest, and though we see wide expanses of fields with a bright orange sun perpetually trapped in the Golden Hour, whenever the camera looks up from the ground we cut to shots of the sky, partially blocked by buildings or phone-lines, or criss-crossed with parabolic contrails, mocking the earthbound protagonists. While Mont St Michel is depicted — unexpectedly, and arguably as a critique of religion[6] — as a blue monument to God in the middle of a wet grey landscape, with only a flash of rose-red colour, Marina and Tatiana now find themselves in a world in which life is mocked by the garish colours of a supermarket, here filmed as a kind of funhouse for the young girl; anyone who has lived in Europe for most of their life will recognise the discombobulation experienced upon walking down rainbow aisles of American products, the eye unable to land on any one thing thanks to the dizzying abundance.

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Discombobulation is the key to this sequence. Marina and Tatiana struggle to adjust to the differences, to the wide world they find themselves in. There are almost no stairs here, and when there are they aren’t ascended together; instead they serve to show separation between Neil and Marina as their love sours. Even after Marina returns to Paris those skies are gone; we see her depression manifest in rainy night-time skies, the organic shapes of the old-Europe buildings replaced with La Grande Arche de la Défense. Malick isn’t done yet, though. The holy place in which Marina attempts to find solace upon returning to America is the church in which she finds Father Quintana, and even here the bright colours of the stained-glass windows evoke those consumerist distractions; religion as product, detached from nature, empty of deeper meaning, depicted earlier as drizzly grey but nonetheless genuine godliness. Marina has experienced the Wonder once, and as Quintana battles with his fading faith, so too does Marina on both the spiritual and emotional planes, battling to return to that state of grace.

By this point in the film Malick has started to increase the frequency of his most important visual component; the prison. In the midst of this natural beauty he adds grids, fences, the framework on which bleachers sit, tiled floors and suchlike. We see cattle held in pens, we see Jane offer her hands up to Neil for binding with a rope (with the statement, “I trust you”), and when Marina returns to the US to marry Neil for the purposes of obtaining a visa their “wedding” is held in a courtroom, surrounded by prisoners in handcuffs signing documents. The couple moves to a new house surrounded by a high fence, within which Marina paces relentlessly.[7] The sunlight which Malick has tried to equate with ecstasy and/or freedom is now filtered through windows and blinds, replaced with artificial light; one short sequence shows Neil and Marina turning lights on and off, followed by a montage of houses and streetlights filling patches of dark with their fake luminescence. The human need to conquer the natural order of things with an approximation of true glory, and only finding small solace in the inevitable blackness.

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It’s not just physical fences that bind these characters. Marina tells Quintana early in the film that she has already had one marriage go sour, and as a result she can no longer take communion. She is separated from the experience of receiving Christ, and despairs because of this. Her ability to stay in the US is curtailed by the expiration of her Visa, and she can only return with the help of Neil, who by this point has found what might be happiness — Wonder — with Jane. Nevertheless, for some reason, probably some sense of honour as much as it could be love, he leaves Jane and marries Marina, allowing her back. Whatever the reason, this is something that constrains him as much as any law does. He mutely accepts this obligation, even as he reinforces the shackles that hold Marina to him; twice in the movie we see him with tools in his hands, either when adding shutters to the windows of the house, or maintaining that all-important fence.

But it’s the act of being in a couple that seems to pen the characters in most of all, with Neil’s efforts to maintain the relationship with Marina causing the greatest unhappiness. Malick’s treatment of this man is curious; instead of being a protagonist he’s almost the antagonist, getting in the way of Marina’s evolution. Even more interesting is how he’s shot; usually from the same height as Marina, most often appearing onscreen as a chin or a back, infrequently in full view as he towers over his lovers or prowls the streets, investigating the pollution of the town’s groundwater and failing to provide comfort to those who live there, much as Quintana walks through the town, ineffectually trying to help the people living in the most impoverished areas. Malick treats Neil like some kind of unknowable monolith, only really showing him full-on, face smack in the centre of the frame, during a sermon from Quintana about Jesus helping those who act. Neil cannot act. As Marina says in voiceover later in the film, he can only wait for others to act to release him from things, and this proves to be true. His inaction holds everyone back.[8]

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But is it Neil’s inability to act that ruins his relationships? Or is it the act of being in love itself? Running alongside the other themes of imprisonment and transcendence is the idea that we corrupt things of nature or beauty. Quintana, in talking about love, acts as if it is a curse we cannot escape; “You shall love, whether you like it or not.” Our lives are wrecked by it, just as we wreck our environment, or each other. Neil investigates the pollution of a town by workers who rip the ground up and add lead and cadmium to the water — and, in a perfect example of his uselessness, we see him react to one man’s tale of woe involving his house being made unlivable by the work with the words, “That’s too bad”. Marina falls ill and fears that she’ll have to have a hysterectomy, only to find that an IUD is poisoning her body, depicted here as similar to a broken cross on an x-ray. During the course of the film she takes two lovers; each of them have bodies marked by tattoos.[9]

Purity of the spirit is made impossible by our actions; the uncertainty principle that leads to us chasing our tails and losing sight of the important things. Is the mind and its insatiable need to look for explanations to inexplicable things the problem? Is happiness ever attainable? Can we ever improve things for ourselves, or will our restlessness doom this endeavour and everything we try to do to fix things? Neil never improves anything; he makes everyone unhappy, cannot help the townsfolk, and doesn’t even seem to come up with a solution to the unnamed company’s polluting. Additionally Quintana’s ability to help people is affected by his over-intellectualising, which renders his faith next-to-useless. Only near the end does he rediscover his ability to help the decrepit and decaying townsfolk, his ambivalence cured by his decision to leave the place that he has grown to resent, even as Neil wrestles with the decision to leave Marina.

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This corruption of the spirit, this sense of obligation to stay with people or places that hold a person back, is the poison of the soul that prevents a person from finding that Wonder once more. In that sense this movie, derided as being some frippery about the nature of love, is actually searching for answers as to whether tying yourself to another person or place is healthy. Is marriage — love governed by rules both legal and religious — anathema to true intimacy and joy? Malick seems ambivalent about the idea of loyalty to others if that compromises your own emotional growth, and punishes Neil for his decision to help Marina, even if she would fare even worse without his help. We also never get clarification on whether Jane would make Neil any more happy than Marina; a woman who, along with Quintana, is out-of-place, eager to keep looking for the love of God but unable to due to society’s laws or a foolish sense of duty. Hell, Marina is, for much of the second half of the movie, so depressed she dresses almost exclusively in black, mourning the person she once was.

To The Wonder might be even more than a critique of marriage. Is Malick saying that we are wrong to try to recreate the true beauty of God’s love — which is what I took sunlight to represent here, usually fleetingly glimpsed trying to reach us through obstacles — with the insistence on clinging to those who make us feel a fragment of the rapture we once felt, hence the continual focus on artificial light? Marina is shown to be on anti-depressants; are relationships merely a respite from loneliness, a reminder of the experience of feeling accepted by forces beyond us? But then religion and spiritual joy is up for questioning too. Quintana’s sudden urge to avoid helping the people of the town makes him doubt everything, to the point that he offers communion to Marina even though this is in contravention of the Church’s rules. Even this act is mocked later as we see Quintana offering Communion to a number of convicts in the local prison, their mouths level with the hatch through which food is passed, the priest passing the wafer as if feeding a machine.

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Though Malick arguably presents established religion and any form of compromise within a relationship as being antithetical to the idea of freedom and spiritual epiphany, he still recognises the beauty to be found in the mundane, and as he builds to a crescendo in which Marina makes her move and frees herself from the bondage of love not truly felt — either by leaving Neil or by taking a different route, as hinted by some of the rather heavily sign-posted metaphorical imagery of the last few minutes[10] — Malick portrays these actions through beauty, perfectly matching image and sound, lifting me from my body and offering up the possibility that the decision to take control of one’s life, to act on instinct and cast off shackles, means a person might rediscover that wonder by removing the poison from one’s life and moving on, being true to oneself and never stopping until you find the person or situation that fills that hole in a person’s heart.

Ebiri sees the pirouettes as ballet moves, and he could be right. But these movements, these ecstatic turns made with arms outstretched, could also be flight, and though we end with Marina dancing into the dark with that artificial light at her back, nevertheless, for a moment there, she was able to fly[11]. Perhaps this beatific freedom is attainable by everyone. Malick might not mean that, making this one of his most pessimistic movies, in which the society — the prison — we have built is the inescapable thing that always holds us back, but nevertheless he cannot prevent me from coming to the conclusion that a life that contains even the possibility of momentary epiphany is a life worth living. He also cannot stop me from thinking that this intellectually precise work of immense honesty, curiosity and complexity gave me one of those fleeting experiences of great insight. Even when the beauty of its light is mixed so elegantly with the ambivalence of its darkness, this is his path to wonder.

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(For your information, this review was written while listening to a hastily constructed Spotify playlist that collects some of the music to be found in the film. No official soundtrack exists just yet, but a track listing exists online, and I made this playlist collecting the classical pieces. No word yet on whether Hanan Thompson’s original compositions will become available. I will say this though: Team Górecki 4evah.)

Return [1] Disclaimer: the gaffer on Goodall’s excellent series turned out to be my old mate John Slater, but I only found this out after I’d tweeted effusive praise about the show. As you would expect from this fine gentleman, it’s a very well gaffed show.

Return [2] You don’t hear anyone’s name during the movie; this is gleaned from the credits. Yet another nice touch; this is a movie about emotion, not specificity, and to screw things down to the ground with extraneous detail detracts from Malick’s goals.

Return [3] It’s also worth noting that this could be seen as another of Malick’s autobiographical works. The Tree of Life is often described as a film about Malick’s childhood and his struggles with his father — in this interview Brad Pitt says this wasn’t articulated to him during shooting but he felt there was something there that he too recognised — and there’s a possibility that this has something to do with a relationship in his past, though of course we don’t really have much to go on, considering his reclusive nature. What we can say is that even if this is meant to be a very personal film, Malick has filmed it in such a way that his concerns and questions become universal, which is great because seriously, who wants to watch a film about some guy working out his bitterness over a relationship break-up? That shit’s the worst. [Edited to add] Okay, that statement about us not knowing much about Malick’s history turns out to be not strictly true. Joseph McDonagh’s review contains a link to a Variety article (at the bottom) that contains a lot of telling detail about Malick’s second marriage. Let’s just say I’ve upgraded To The Wonder to the status of “guy using his past to explore big themes”.

Return [4] Were I more confident about such things I could probably try to break To The Wonder down into the four or five movements of a symphony, but considering I didn’t even know what a chord was until a couple of weeks ago it’s best I leave that to someone else, or just accept Bilge Ebiri’s ballet theory as the superior one.

Return [5] Much has been made of the film’s lack of dialogue, and indeed the main characters say very little, to the point that Marina’s greater share of voiceover duty means the film could almost qualify as “foreign language”. That said, Malick tunes into conversations occurring on screen as if they’re punctuation, or the notes of one of the instruments he is using in this symphony. I’d be interested to read a transcript of all of the words spoken in this film, either as voiceover or diegetic dialogue, to see how the phrases left in by Malick strengthen or weaken my arguments about the ultimate meaning of his brilliantly wrought meditation. There’s a chance that these splinters of speech have already worked on me; fractured to the point of making no sense but yet making a kind of sense at the corner of the mind, nothing direct but, as with the visuals, telling a story obliquely; a tale felt like a breeze on the skin, not experienced through brute pummelling.

Return [6] Yes, arguably, as Mont St Michel, even when shown in such grey tones, is still a wonder to behold — it was apparently the inspiration behind the design of Minas Tirith in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which makes sense as The Court of the Fountain, in which resides The White Tree of Gondor, is reminiscent of The Cloister, at least in my head. The other memory tweaked by this sequence is the shore of The Tree of Life, which one assumes is meant to represent the afterlife; we see Neil and Marina playing by the causeway that will be swamped by the tide that comes in to separate the fortress/monastery from the mainland. This strengthens the argument, as mentioned in spoilery point [10] below, that the final scenes have a greater significance than merely tying up the film with a visual bookend.

Return [7] Neil’s inability to settle down is reinforced visually by the boxes that litter all of his homes. There are very few furnishings, and instead we see his belongings either being removed from or placed in boxes. This sense of restlessness is mirrored by Marina and Quintana, separated from their homeland, cast adrift from their joy and unable to settle. Only Jane seems to be immune to this, living on her ranch. This stability could have been Neil’s too, if he had only stayed with her, but perhaps the open spaces, this freedom, is not his thing either. He needs to hide behind his walls, and if they’re not enough to keep things fixed to him, he will build fences to prevent people from leaving him alone.

Return [8] Though of course Neil does act, in helping Marina return to the States, but of course this could just as much be his fear of the feelings he has for Jane; we’ll never know. That said, at least he has Christ’s forgiveness to keep him warm, as is explained in-film, either by Quintana or Marina, I can’t recall who. What? Gimme a break, it’s not like I was taking notes. There’s a lot going on in this film and it’s hard to keep track of it all. Jeez!

Return [9] It might seem odd that Malick would follow The Tree of Life — a film that spanned all time and space and then beyond — with something relatively intimate (though with a visual scale that dwarfs most other movies), but while ToL juxtaposed the development of a man with the development of the Earth itself, this burrows down into the actual moment-to-moment life of a person within a body. Another consequence of his fascination with the movement of his characters is that Malick is depicting humans flexing and twisting their bodies, not only in relation to their surroundings and the people in their proximity but also in relation to themselves. His camera catches blemishes and pockmarks, moles and hair and skin and teeth, mostly clothed but sometimes naked as we become more intimately acquainted with who these people are. Among other things, this is an ode to what it is to be a human when rooted in a place, with time acting as the engine that wears us down physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Return [10] Spoilers here: The rather obvious symbolism of Marina walking down a long hallway into light, and then waking up in a field in which she has to drink rainwater collecting on trees, before cutting to a final shot of Mont St Michel, tends to suggest that she has decided to kill herself, as she threatened to do earlier in the film (after all we do see her making sure she reclaims all of her pills after spitting them at Neil), and the airport would therefore be a construct for the benefit of the viewer, but I hesitate to suggest that Malick would do something so clunky, mostly because it’s such a horribly downbeat possibility, not to mention an enormous cliche. Perhaps he is merely attempting to show the finality of Marina’s decision to leave Neil, utilising common metaphorical imagery for The End to denote her true progression into a new phase of life; a metaphor used as a meta-metaphor. Or this is my best fanwank yet.

Return [11] Hence ending the film in an airport.

We Need To Talk (And Talk And Talk) About Oscar

Why am I doing this? There was once a time I would dazzle all those around me as I applied an almost precognitive talent for award prediction to numerous hastily organized Oscar ballots. Oh how I was feted, carried high on the shoulders of friends and enemies alike, given ambrosial liquor to sup on from jewel-encrusted golden goblets. They were glorious times, my friends, and those efforts were the stuff of legend. But since making my predictions via this blog, my hit rate has dropped into the low fuckalls. Once Shades of Caruso was described as “usually fairly reliable“. Well, not in terms of Oscar predictions. So why put myself through this ordeal again? Why humiliate myself when my former predictive talents as a modern-day Cassandra have suddenly and inexplicably morphed into those of just some random lass called Sandra?

To be honest it’s only to justify having sat through the combined clusterfuck-a-thon of War Horse, The Iron Lady and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; three movies so wretched they should be investigated as hate crimes against my very soul. And yet here they are, given baffling nominational attention from the various elders who constitute the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. The anguish caused by this triumvirate of terribleness, and their baffling inclusion on the Oscar shortlist, is the fuel that powered this epic post, so if you get bored to extinction by the time you get halfway down the page, blame Stephen Daldry, Eric Roth, Abi Morgan, Phyllida Lloyd, Lee Hall and Richard Curtis (Spielberg gets a free pass for Tintin, which was aceballs).

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Who Will Win: George Clooney – The Descendants

Jean Dujardin may have been winning awards by smiling a smile that honestly looks like it could melt through steel like Superman’s heat vision, but I think the Academy members are ready to give Gorgeous George the big prize at last, mostly just to get it out of the way. There are worse things that could happen; though I’d be more than happy to see the thoroughly handsome Dujardin win and do a little tap-dance or something, Clooney was the best thing about The Descendants (other than Shailene Woodley, who was also very good). It’s odd to look at the mostly quiet work he does here, the way he balances light comedy and heavy tragedy, and think back to the way his performances were merely an amalgamation of irksome tics when he was on E.R. and not-massively-popular action extravaganza The Peacemaker. Now look at him. He’s really very good. And still handsome. An Oscar win here is no bad thing.

Who Should Win: Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

But of these five candidates, surely it’s Oldman’s prize. He’s survived the fallow years caused — I’m sure — by appearances in two Luc Besson movies with only Airforce One and Lost in Space to separate them, and has proved cynics (such as myself) wrong time and again. By now even his shaky appearances in crap like Red Riding Hood are usually worth watching. It’s enough to make me think he will take over from Sir Anthony Hopkins in the Endlessly-Entertaining-Actor-Shaped extra chamber in my heart once the great Welshman has sadly entered the Odinsleep. Tinker Tailor was an impeccably performed movie; picking out individual acting highlights is hard, but pretty much every moment Oldman is onscreen, like a shade sucking all of the light from the room, it’s as if everyone else has faded into the awful period-appropriate wallpaper. His voicework in Kung Fu Panda 2 was good too. We take Oldman for granted; time we stopped doing that.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Michael Fassbender – Shame

Maybe it’s a good thing Fassbender didn’t get nominated. The outrage generated by that stupid-but-expected decision will power his career for a while longer as he comes to work on projects to be filed under the heading True Quality, as opposed to the gilded, establishment-approved version of art represented by the Academy’s often-mystifying choices. It also means that the inevitable dirty tricks campaign could dig up some pretty unpleasant stuff about Fassbender, and at this point in his career (or at any point, really) that’s not a good thing. Best he sits this one out until a year when a very driven producer doesn’t have a dog in this fight.

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Who Will Win: Christopher Plummer – Beginners

Beginners was a good enough movie, one that made it okay to like Ewan McGregor again, but without the storming performance from Plummer I think it would be forgotten fairly quickly. His energy levels here are remarkable, and make an average movie unmissable. Hopefully people won’t go on about how he’s bound to win because he plays a terminally ill gay man who finds a new lease of life in his final years, thus completing some kind of Oscar-Worthiness Bingo card. He deserves to win because he deserves to win. It’s that simple.

Who Should Win: Christopher Plummer – Beginners

Though a spanner was thrown into the works when Max Von Sydow got nominated as “The Renter” in Stephen Daldry and Eric Roth’s monumentally awful Extremely Insensitive and Incredibly Corny. The great man has been acting for nearly 700 years now and has never won an Oscar, so surely he’s due one. Hell, make it a retroactive award for The Virgin Spring. Despite this, and despite the fact that he’s the only good thing to come of Daldry and Roth’s wretched miasma of relentless sentiment, it has to be Plummer who wins this. He’s been cranking out great performances for the past few years (he should’ve won for The Insider, to be honest), and if he gets this, he’ll have a BEGOT (not just your Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony quadfecta, but also a Bafta as well). If you don’t want to root for such an achievement, please fill out the order form below to request a new, fully-functional soul.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Sir Ben Kingsley – Hugo

Lots of folks complained about the numerous snubs in this nomination list, with much of the justifiable frustration directed at the miserable lack of Albert Brooks, but I’ve only seen a couple of people point out that leaving Sir Ben off the list for his superb work in Hugo was an egregious omission. Maybe Best Supporting Actor is the wrong category, as Uncle Georges is arguably the protagonist of this movie, but there’s more room for him here than in the crowded Best Actor slot (ahem Jonah Hill ahem). Sir Ben is in the same category as Sir Anthony Hopkins; he’s usually the most interesting thing in whatever movie he appears in, and Hugo is no exception. If it works at all, it’s because of his skill in bringing to life the sweet-and-sour mystery at the heart of the film.

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Who Will Win: Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady

A horrible inevitability has descended upon this category. Many are talking up the relative lack of Oscars Meryl has received despite being in the list of top twenty most awesome people in the history of the world, and I’m sure many people are aggrieved that she didn’t win anything for her impersonation of Dan Aykroyd in Julie and Julia, but even so, the thought of her playing a real live actual person is just too much. The Academy must have written this winner on their scorecards without even seeing the movie. She truly embodied the pluck and lovability of Margaret Thatcher completely (i.e. it was correctly completely absent from the movie). Plus there was a lot of make-up on her face. The assorted critics of the Daily Telegraph plumped for Viola Davis en masse, but I still think this is Meryl’s to win.

Who Should Win: Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn

And it would be the worst crime of the night. Don’t get me wrong; I genuinely adore Meryl Streep. She might even be my favourite actor, if not vying for joint fave with Jeff Bridges. Nevertheless, the obnoxious fractured editing by Phyllida Lloyd — which is obviously meant to mirror Mrs. Thatcher’s current unfortunate medical situation — means the movie never settles down long enough for us to have any idea what Meryl’s performance is like. As I tweeted after the godawful mess finally came to a close, it feels like a 100 minute trailer for a 17-hour-long movie, mostly made up of stock footage. It makes W.E. look like a coherent film, which I thought would be impossible. The glimpses we get of Meryl in excelsis suggest she did good work but I honestly can’t attest to that. So I say it should have gone to Michelle Williams. Cheeky of me, as I haven’t seen My Week With Marilyn; I’m burned out on such things thanks to The King’s Speech. But MW was unfortunate to have given a performance of such brilliance in Blue Valentine in the same year that Natalie Portman brought her A-game in Black Swan. Williams deserves to unlock the Reversal of Fortune Achievement for that. (1000 Gamerpoints)

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Tilda Swinton – We Need To Talk About Kevin

What else do I need to say? Excise the horrible cartoonish display by the otherwise excellent Jessica Chastain in The Help, and put Tilda in where she belongs. She’s said she’s happy to avoid going to the ceremony, but what about her fans, who look forward too seeing her appear in white dresses before being described as “androgynous” by every fashion expert? An essential part of the award season is now sadly missing. Plus she was phenomenal in WNTTAK. That too.

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Who Will Win: Octavia Spencer – The Help

This was a movie that made me very uncomfortable, much as The Blind Side did a couple of years ago, but at least The Help had great performances (and not-so-great, Jessica Chastain and Bryce Dallas Howard) on its side. Octavia Spencer managed to out-act Viola Davis without having to do that snotty nose thing Davis does in so many movies; Davis even managed it again in Extremely Long and Incredibly Offensive, probably because she knew that disappointing us by not featuring it would have ruined hundreds of Extremely Twee and Incredibly Pretentious drinking games. This is another of the most predictable wins of the ceremony, and one I back almost 100%.

Who Should Win: Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids

Except that it would be so nice for a comedic performance to get an Oscar nod, and Melissa McCarthy’s much-loved work is the most likely possibility for many a year. Admittedly if she won over the other candidates there’s a possibility that in time she would be given the same treatment Marisa Tomei got when she won for My Cousin Vinny, but as someone who likes Marisa Tomei and My Cousin Vinny, and who has done a complete 180° on McCarthy now that I know she has more about her than was shown in Gilmore Girls (shudder), I’d back this win also. Not gonna happen, though.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Charlotte Gainsbourg – Melancholia

Fair to say that Uncle Lars’ Bedtime For Hitler storytelling at the Cannes Film Festival sank any chance that either Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg would get a nomination. I suspect the screeners for this sat unwatched on many an Academy member’s coffee table. A pity, as it was one of the highlights of the year. Gainsbourg was just as good in Antichrist, but maybe this kind of soul-baring work isn’t ever going to find favour with the assorted old white men who vote for these things. “Why, she’s just got the vapours,” they would say into their mug of restorative potions made from the tears of discarded Hollywood dreamers. “Just buy her an ironing board and be done with it.” And that, my friends, is why the Oscars mean jack shit.

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

What Will Win: Rango

Ha ha ha ha ha ha Cars 2 didn’t get nominated ha ha ha ha ha. Reap the merchandising whirlwind, Pixar, and thanks for pissing on your legacy (until your next incredible film comes along and makes me forgive you for temporarily misplacing your soul). Anyway, Rango was the frontrunner over a year ago and nothing has changed since.

What Should Win: Rango

Seriously, why are we even talking about this? Rango‘s a masterpiece. End of.

What Should Have Been Nominated: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

Of course, there was the amusing upset during the Golden Globes when Spielberg’s much-maligned performance-capture movie won the animation award, but then it didn’t get in here. There are lots of theories why, from “is it animation?” to “it’s not animation“, to “it wasn’t good enough”. Whatever the reason, its omission here is pretty bizarre, made all the worse by the nominations dropped into War Horse‘s trough. This vibrant, manic blast of imagination gets nothing while that risible failure gets a bunch of nods? Shocking. But it still wouldn’t deserve to win. Why? Because Rango. Like I just said a paragraph ago.

Achievement in Cinematography

Who Will Win: Robert Richardson – Hugo

I have a theory, for which I have absolutely no proof, that if the movie with the most nominations doesn’t win Best Picture, it will be given Best Cinematography as a consolation prize. The Artist might or might not not win many awards this year but I believe it’ll win Best Picture at the very least, which would leave Hugo wanting. As a result, I think Robert Richardson’s 3D cinematography will win out. Or Ludovic Bource will win for The Artist because he isn’t using that new-fangled technology? No, it’ll definitely be Richardson. Unless that lovely, clear, monochrome photography persuades the oldsters. ::is utterly undecided::

Who Should Win: Emmanuel Lubezki – The Tree of Life

If there is one word I could use to describe Malick’s meditation on cosmic gubbins and personal strife — other than pretentious, or powerful, or intricate, or unsubtle, or preposterous, or profound, or overlong, or ambitious, or breathtaking, etc. etc. — it would be luminous. Thanks to Emmanuel Lubezki’s work, this film glowed. It throbbed with the very life its titular tree is full of. Maybe it was just that we saw this on a good screen, brightly lit and digitally projected (a rarity nowadays), but it was so gloriously shot that I felt I was looking straight through a window into another world, or at least into the mind of Malick, and it was as beautiful a place as I had hoped.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Sean Bobbitt – Shame

In the past Bobbitt filmed a lot of Ye Olde Worlde settings for some of the seemingly infinite number of period adaptations made by the BBC, so it must have been a nice change for him to capture the most memorable images of New York in recent memory. Not that that mattered to the Academy, who don’t care about his ability to paint the city with terrifying reds, soft golds, and rainy greys. All they think is, “But he pointed the camera at a dong”, and that’s your lot. Sorry Sean. Maybe some day you’ll make a movie set during the first quarter of the 20th Century and the Academy members will be falling out of their bath chairs to give you a nod. Fingers crossed, eh?

Achievement in Art Direction

Who Will Win: Laurence Bennett and Robert Gould - The Artist

It’s in these technical categories that the two love letters to silent cinema will fight their most fraught battles, where the majority winner will be decided. As a result it’s hard to deduct who will win using my usual scientific rigour. Instead I have to rely on guesswork, and the thought that last year the Weinsteins managed to strongarm the Academy into giving Tom Hooper — TOM HOOPER — the award for Best Director. I’m sure Harvey has been going door-to-door this year, telling more anecdotes about how clever he was to acquire the rights to this, buying bunches of grapes for the voters and promising to give them back-rubs and what-not. Even though half of my brain is convinced the voters will be more charmed by the charming charming super super charming charm of Hugo (an excellent read, that), I think Harvey’s carpet-bombing techniques will win again. Plus the art direction on The Artist was very nice.

Who Should Win: Dante Ferretti and Francesca Lo Schiavo - Hugo

That said, the art direction on Hugo was even better. Dante Ferretti’s collaborations with Scorsese are always a feast for the eyes and his interpretation of what a semi-fantastical Parisian railway station would look like — with toy shops, overstocked bookshops and clockwork labyrinths included — is some of the best work he’s done. Plus he’s on a roll, having won his last two nominations for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and The Aviator. So I could well be wrong here.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Maria Djurkovic, Tom Brown and Zsuzsa Kismarty-Lechner – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Friend-of-the-blog Beggar So’s Hat wisely noted that the shockingly grim production design of this was horribly snubbed. I hadn’t even noticed that. I think I tried to blot the miserable look of the film from my brain rather than be reminded once more of the horrors within. It made me think of my childhood, which now feels like it happened in the 50s and not the 70s like it actually was. It’s as if England was frozen in time for fifty years, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy was just a snapshot of that. Which is to say, Mr. Hat was right. The production design on TTSS was worthy of many awards, especially this one, but also Grimmest Evocation of the Cigarette-Smoke-Stained Dilapidation of 20th Century Britain.

Achievement in Costume Design

Who Will Win: Mark Bridges – The Artist

Again, it’s all down to who will be the overall winner. If it’s going to be The Artist I have to go all in and give it to Mr. Bridges…

Who Should Win: Sandy Powell – Hugo

…while thinking that Sandy Powell’s work is more deserving. By now I must seem like a guy who hated The Artist, but I didn’t. I adored it. Hugo was the movie that left me cold, even though it’s obviously a thing of great precision, as intricate and lovely as the clockwork contraptions that litter it. But all that effort from Scorsese was futilely expended trying to shift the enormous rock that is my heart, and it wasn’t going to work. ::hands in film buff card::

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Eiko Ishioka – Immortals

Nevertheless, that’s not as big a crime as neglecting Eiko Ishioka’s brain-maddening work which so dominated Tarsem’s latest empty trinket. It’s especially frustrating as the world is now bereft of her singular genius. Creating works of art for ill-received genre movies directed by someone with… shall we say, a questionable grasp of narrative… means her work wasn’t really seen enough. When we see Mirror, Mirror later this year, it’ll be a bittersweet experience. And not just because it’ll almost certainly be desperately boring crap. #Uncharitable

Best Documentary Feature

What Will Win: Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory

As usual I haven’t seen any documentaries this year, not even depressing ones about how the economy is about to explode with the force of a million megaprolapses, so I can’t really talk with any authority here, but I’d wager Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky will get the nod for campaigning successfully for the West Memphis Three. Unless the Academy is still mad at Berlinger for Blair Witch 2, which is understandable.

What Should Win: IDK SMDH

As I can’t say anything authoritative here, I’ll keep my fat mouth shut.

What Should Have Been Nominated: Tabloid

Yep, I didn’t even see Senna, the most critically acclaimed documentary of the year, but everyone I know who has seen it adores it. Nevertheless, I would’ve loved to have seen Errol Morris’ crazily entertaining Tabloid get some recognition. Perhaps because it’s so much fun it never stood a chance of getting any Oscar love; that old “comedy is too frivolous to be worthy of recognition” thing again. Which is a shame, because I’d say Tabloid has some pretty hefty points to make about news cycles, journalistic arrogance and human venality. It just also happens to be very amusing while it makes those points.

Best Documentary Short Subject

What Will Win: God Is The Bigger Elvis

Best Animated Short Film

What Will Win: La Luna

Best Live Action Short Film

What Will Win: The Shore

Okay, I’ll come clean. I haven’t got a clue about any of the nominees in any of the three categories clustered here, as was the case last year, so I’m just going to pick for the stupidest reasons. I just read about God Is The Bigger Elvis a few hours ago, La Luna because I like the name of the director (Enrico Casarosa), and The Shore because it’s made by Terry and Oorlagh George, and I always get annoyed that I confuse Terry George and Terry Southern even though their surnames and careers are completely different so I guess that’s an omen or something. Sorry to all of the nominees in these categories; I should give you respect, and instead I give you this excrement-soaked corsage. You deserve so much better.

Achievement in Film Editing

Who Will Win: Thelma Schoonmaker – Hugo

It’s arguable that Hugo was a bit slack, to be honest, and could have done with a bit of tidying up, but you’re a fool if you bet against Schoonmaker, who has won three of the six Academy Awards she has previously been nominated for (can you believe she didn’t win for Goodfellas? WT actual F?).

Who Should Win: Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall – The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

As I said last year, David Fincher’s editing team on The Social Network did a fantastic job of wrestling a ton of footage and talking to the ground and making it work as a narrative. they’re here again with a movie that’s less talky but just as complex (if not more so) than that. Dragon Tattoo may not have blown my socks off the way Fincher’s best work does, but it’s a great thriller, perfectly paced and seemingly effortlessly compelling. Baxter and Wall deserve this win twice over now.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Paul Hirsch – Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol / Hank Corwin, Jay Rabinowitz, Daniel Rezende, Billy Weber and Mark Yoshikawa – The Tree of Life / Joe Bini – We Need To Talk About Kevin

Quick run through of my reasons here. 1) The best action movie of the year deserves a nod, especially when the action scenes are so clearly drawn and beautifully constructed. It was a joy to watch, and much of that was down to veteran Hirsch’s command of the AVID. 2) A team of five head editors wrestling with what was probably 65,000,000 miles of footage featuring kids running down alleys or Brad Pitt standing on a lawn, and in the end we get an impressionistic collage of mood and image as powerful as this? I may complain that Hugo was slack but any flabbiness here was probably intentional. The longueurs are as important as the moments of emotion, and the superb judgement of this team — and Malick — will probably become more apparent with each rewatch. 3) It’s as if Nicolas Roeg is making major motion pictures again, and Bini is as important as Lynne Ramsay in creating a fractured but exhaustingly scary like Kevin. Again, a major omission for this exceptional artistic accomplishment.

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

What Will Win: A Separation

Of course the Academy has a talent for arsing this category up, which could be good news for Agnieszka Holland — I’d think of it as an award given in honour of her stunning Treme pilot; one of the best episodes of TV ever made – but honestly, how on earth could anything beat Asghar Farhadi’s magnificent family drama? I would’ve like to have seen it do a Crouching Tiger and get a Best Picture nomination as well, it’s that good (yes, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was nominated for both Best Foreign Language Film and Best Picture, a fact that seems to elude many professional Oscar prognosticators each year).

What Should Win: A Separation

Time spent thinking about this masterpiece since seeing it right at the end of last year has made it seem even more profound, even more exciting. I may not have seen any of the other films nominated here but still it seems only right that this wins.

What Should Have Been Nominated: The Skin I Live In

To be honest, though I enjoyed Pedro Almodovar’s macabre thriller, it still left me a little cold. I’m sure there’s some arcane reason why this wasn’t included (that’s usually the case; did Spain even offer it as a nominee?), but if that’s not the case then I guess its omission here is pretty surprising. Other than that, the majority of the foreign language movies I saw last year just weren’t good enough to warrant inclusion here. Even Peter Chan’s Wu Xia — a film which made it onto my best-of-2011 list — would seem out of place. The closest thing I can think of for inclusion would be Andrea Molaioli’s Il Gioiellino, the fictionalised dramatisation of the Parmalat fraud scandal, but even that’s too dry to really pass muster. ::shrug::

Achievement in Makeup

Who Will Win: Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland – The Iron Lady

I almost feel like I’m saying this because it had the most make-up, mostly on Meryl’s chin for Thatcher’s later years…

Who Should Win: Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland – The Iron Lady

…but as Daisyhellcakes said when we tried to stay awake during this possibly endless collision of stock footage and poorly shot comedic shenanigans, “That’s a really convincing wattle”. And she’s right. It’s a really convincing wattle.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Contagion

The most startling physical transformation of the year was a digital effect; the enfeeblenising of Chris Evans in the first third of Captain America: The First Avenger is a baffling, seamless effect that convinces so completely that post-super-serum Evans looks somehow more wrong than the wimp. I’m tempted to say this should have been nominated just for the wicked Red Skull make-up on Hugo Weaving, but I think Contagion may be a more worthy nominee, for the nasty sweaty death pallor on the victims of MEV-1, Jude Law’s pasty face and rotten tooth, and one very fun autopsy scene.

Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures (Original Score)

Who Will Win: Howard Shore – Hugo

I can’t actually remember a single note of it, even though I’m a big fan of Mr. Shore (his score for A Dangerous Method was particularly lovely; he does his best work for Maestro Cronenberg), but I doubt either of Williams’ scores will win (vote splitting), and there’s the possibility that Kim Novak really does have some insider information about how the soundtrack to The Artist did something unspeakable and illegal to Bernard Hermann’s Vertigo score. That leaves Shore’s score.

Who Should Win: Alberto Iglesias - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Of course, this wonderful score by Alberto Iglesias should be the frontrunner here for anyone who has ears. It’s an absolute corker, sinister and peppered with smokey-jazz moments; perfect for the film and powerful in its own right. And yes, I know this won’t be a consideration for the Academy, but the inclusion of this great, nerd-funky version of La Mer just shows how much care was put into the music. It’s such a great choice for the scene it accompanies that I did a joy-pirouette without leaving my super-comfy Odeon-Swiss-Cottage seat.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Michael Giacchino – Super 8

My favourite soundtrack of last year was Cecile Corbel’s delicate score for Arrietty, but as the movie wasn’t released in the US until this year, it wasn’t eligible. I’d like to say Hans Zimmer’s score for Rango should’ve got in, but considering the fuss over Ludovic Bource’s The Artist soundtrack, Zimmer’s re-appropriation of The Blue Danube and Ride of the Valkyries — not to mention similarities with Carter Burwell’s Raising Arizona score — mean it’s better off out of it. Giacchino’s Super 8 score managed to conjure up memories of some of John Williams’ work with Spielberg while remaining recognisably his own work. It might not be the best thing he’s done, but it played an important part in conjuring up the air of nostalgia that made J.J. Abrams’ homage work.

Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures (Original Song)

What Will Win: Man or Muppet (Bret McKenzie) – The Muppets

I’ve not heard the Rio song, but is there any doubt?

What Should Win: Man or Muppet (Bret McKenzie) – The Muppets

It’s just what a musical number should be. It’s thematically relevant, perfectly judged on a tonal level, it signals a big plot moment, it’s full of clever lyrical tricks, and it’s a proper showstopping earworm. It brought the house down at the BFI a month ago and I reckon this happens everywhere this movie plays. Is this the most assured winner of the night?

What Should Have Been Nominated: Star Spangled Man (Alan Menken / David Zippel) – Captain America: The First Avenger

Still, the feeble number of nominees here means there’s no real reason why Menken and Zippel’s entertaining pastiche of WWII propaganda songs didn’t get a nod. It’s not as good as Bret McKenzie’s song, but it’s still a witty and catchy tune. I guess the Academy members didn’t want to be reminded of the war that took place during their middle age. Yeah, I went there!

Achievement in Sound Editing

Who Will Win: Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom – War Horse

It might be a load of old chuff but I think War Horse will get at least one Oscar just because Spielberg and the rest strained so damn hard to make something timeless and noble that I bet someone will feel sorry for him. That’s not to say the work of Hymns and Rydstrom isn’t worthy of an award. The movie has a wide array of excellent whinnies, clip-clops, and gunfire.

Who Should Win: Ren Klyce – The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Normally I’d pick Transformers: Dark of the Moon for two reasons: 1) to annoy everyone by continuing to not crap all over Bay’s carnage-laden doomfuck, and 2) because there were about one zillion sound effects in this movie, and I’m sure there was a small army of sound recorders trying to find the material for this movie’s sonic tapestry of boom. Nevertheless, I’ll pick Ren Klyce’s work on Fincher’s bleak midwinter tale for two different reasons: 1) I always tend to pick Ren Klyce because Ren Klyce is ace, and 2) the sound of Lisbeth Salander’s steel-toed boot clanging noisily against a very large metallic anus-seeking dildo has haunted me for two months. That counts for something.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Oliver Tarney and Mark Taylor – Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

My two picks here (Nicholas Becker for Andrea Arnold’s glorious Wuthering Heights and Koji Kasamatsu for Arrietty) are again not eligible because of US release dates. Instead I’ll pick the team behind the sound effects in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. There’s some lovely work done during the action scenes, but also the thrum of Victorian London is captured as well as in the first movie, which was also deserving of a nomination.

Achievement in Sound Mixing

Who Will Win: Tom Fleischman and John Midgley – Hugo

Big noisy setpieces in a train station where every individual, important noise is clearly picked out? It’s a lock.

Who Should Win: Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J. Devlin – Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The soundscapes of Michael Bay’s noisiest movies are widely loathed as merely a wash of explosions and screaming, but when blasted at with a good THX sound-system, it’s likely that the volume will deafen you to the amount of intricate work done here. It’s not just queueing up a bunch of banging and sticking it all in a blender; there’s more layering of sound than you’d think. Then again, I’ve always been a fan of percussion, so I’m more likely to enjoy an extended drum solo than the finely-picked notes of a symphony. Make of that what you will.

What Should Have Been Nominated: Peter Miller, Adam Kopald, J.R. Grubbs and Addison Teague - Rango

Among the many joys of this astounding triumph of animation is the lovely audio track, evoking the eerie silences of Sergio Leone’s classics while changing gears for some huge, complicated action scenes. Truly a feast for the ears as well as the eyes.

Achievement in Visual Effects

Who Will Win: Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett - Rise of the Planet of the Apes

I’m tempted to say Hugo will win this too, but the furore over Andy Serkis’ performance and the technology used to capture it means this might have a shot, as a sop to the campaigners.

Who Should Win: Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler and John Frazier - Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Once more I’m picking complexity and logistical madness over subtlety or beauty, but the scale of the FX work in this movie is simply breathtaking. It’s also seamlessly integrated with reality; you’ll really believe Chicago had its arse kicked by robotic dickwads. The only caveat here is that they’re not really breaking new ground; we’ve seen this kind of thing before, just not on this scale. Nevertheless, my eyes boggled at the monumental mechanical madness, and I really appreciate that.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Douglas Trumbull, Dan Glass, Peter and Chris Parks – The Tree of Life

What a lovely welcome back for the legendary Doug Trumbull; a snub by his peers that probably would have stung if he had even noticed them, bearing in mind he is a colossus who bestrides the discipline of visual effects and probably thinks Digital Domain is little more than an interesting ant-farm. Bear in mind, this is a man who, while everyone else in the FX business was learning how to use a mouse, was either working on IMAX and Showscan technologies or trying to fix the BP oil-spill. Does he need an Oscar? If the FX industry members of the Academy can’t find it in their hearts to give this visionary the award he deserves, he can get over the insignificant pain by inventing another world-changing doohickey. Trumbull does not need your baubles.

Adapted Screenplay

Who Will Win: Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash – The Descendants

Hugo should win this considering the overwhelming critical praise for it in the US, but I have a feeling the sentimental Academy members will be more drawn to The Descendants, which is a very writerly movie with big dramatic beats, terminally ill people, confrontations that play out in unexpected ways, and speeches that run on for perhaps a bit too long. It also has a terrible voiceover in the first half of the movie that should make invalidate it, but I doubt that that’s a dealbreaker. Or maybe this is just wishful thinking because I want to see Dean Pelton win an Oscar? If so, can Magnitude come on stage for a celebratory “Pop pop!“?

Who Should Win: Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Much as I enjoyed Moneyball, mostly because Sorkin’s worst excesses were curtailed by the low-key performances and direction, I don’t think it’s the best script here. I also don’t think that honour belongs to The Ides of March; yet another Clooney / Heslov disappointment that feels four drafts away from completion. Surely Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is the only logical choice here. It’s a labyrinth of words and actions and information but there’s emotion here, real aching pain. It’s a magnificent achievement.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Christopher Hampton – A Dangerous Method

As is Christopher Hampton’s expansion of his play The Talking Cure. Its absorption and translation of the ideas and theories of Freud, Jung and Spielrein into dramatic forms is breathtaking, made all the more memorable for its puckish wit and satisfying emotional charge. Though I’d resigned myself to seeing this underrated movie get little Oscar love I held out hope for this screenplay as the sole nominee, but no. What a pity.

Original Screenplay

Who Will Win: Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris

Remember all those days ago when The Artist won the Bafta for best screenplay and amateur comedians and film critics said, “How can it win best screenplay when there’s no words in it duhhhhh duuuuuuh a-duuuuuhhhhhhh?” Well I guess that won’t happen here, but only because the truly sentimental choice is to give Woody another Oscar for his latest self-indulgent wallow in nostalgia. Usually that yearning for simpler times is a subtext to his usual light middle-class semi-intellectual drama, but here it’s right at the fore-front. Who was the Twitter wag who said that this movie was like Woody’s “Things I like” list made celluloid flesh? Because well done, that person, you got it in one.

Who Should Win: Asghar Farhadi – A Separation

That victory for a second-rate script would be a crime when Asghar Farhadi’s brilliantly constructed, humane, intelligent, complex, multi-faceted screenplay has also been given a nod. In a perfect world this would’ve been the only nominee. If ever anyone asks me what screenplay I would pick as an example of brilliant screenwriting, I’ll pick George Gallo’s script for Midnight Run. If they couldn’t find that, I’ll pick this.

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Kenneth Lonergan – Margaret / Scott Z. Burns – Contagion

That said, I would’ve liked it if Kenneth Lonergan had received any kind of recognition for his notorious movie, but I guess there was no chance of that happening with the lawsuits flying back and forth like flaming buzzards of doom. Also, we’ve not even seen the full movie; I long for the director’s cut of this challenging and audacious movie. I also would’ve liked it if Scott Z. Burns got nominated for Contagion, but that’s because I’m a big Scott Z. Burns fan and I think he’s great so there.

Achievement in Directing

Who Will Win: Martin Scorsese – Hugo

Okay, hear me out. Yes, I think The Artist will win Best Picture. Yes, I know that Michel Hazanavicius won the Director’s Guild Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Feature Film Award, and that’s usually a pretty reliable marker of who will win the Academy Award, but I think Scorsese has played a blinder here; making a homage to the birth of cinema, eoo-goog-alising one of the earliest pioneers of the medium, and passionately campaigning for the virtues of film preservation within the film itself. A pretty ballsy move, to turn a children’s movie into a two-hour lecture about archiving and storage technology. The Artist might be a love letter to silent cinema, but Hugo is a billet-doux attached to a heart-shaped box of chocolate cherries with a bit of sexy lingerie hidden under the crepe-paper tray. There’s no way the assorted dodecagenarians of the Academy will be able to resist giving Scorsese his second director’s gong for this.

Who Should Win: Terrence Malick – The Tree of Life

Even though I really loved The Artist (I did! Honest!), and thought Scorsese did a good job of methodically stripped the magic from his children’s film by the time the final reel arrived just so he could prove a point, this category belongs to Malick. Alexander Payne served up a curiously listless dramedy, and Woody Allen woke up for a little while; not really work worth lauding. But Malick’s bold vision was even more daring than his usual work, happily comparing the travails of a family to the beginning and end of life. What brass balls. It’s the best thing he’s done since Days of Heaven, and more than deserving of some Oscar love. If they don’t do it now, they’ll only regret it in future when he suddenly starts making action movies starring Channing Tatum (mark my words, this will happen).

Who Should Have Been Nominated: David Cronenberg – A Dangerous Method

The great man can’t win. When he makes a genre movie — albeit a genre movie with an intellectual ambition that dwarfs almost everything else around — clueless critics proclaim that he’s little more than a provocateur debasing his better instincts. When he makes a movie that’s sober and thought-provoking, everyone whines that there’s not enough parasites or inappropriate vaginal images in it. So when he makes something as crystalline as this, so perfectly hewn and formally precise, critics say it’s too dry. “It’s too dry,” they say, drawing attention to what they think is an excessive dryness. Seriously, that’s all anyone could say. Well bollocks to that. It’s exactly what it needs to be, and Cronenberg is the only filmmaker in the world smart enough to get that right. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; one day critical opinion will swing back Cronenberg’s way. Sadly, not before voting ended.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

What Will Win: The Artist

Critical mass has been reached for The Artist. I don’t think anyone on the planet expects another movie to win, except Stephen Daldry, probably; a conclusion I’ve reached after enduring Extremely Bad And Just Generally Incredibly Incredibly Dire And Awful Jesus What A Stinker, which seems to have been directed by someone who has absolutely no self-awareness whatsoever. I was tempted to predict a Hugo surprise here, but I think we all know that’s not happening. Harvey Weinstein has been prowling the streets of Hollywood like a cross between Batman, Wilson Fisk and P.T. Barnum, pimping out that movie for all he’s worth. It’s a foregone conclusion.

What Should Win: The Artist

And I’m absolutely fine with that. Not just because it’s the best movie of the nine nominees, but because I still think so fondly of it a victory in this category would make my night. I’m sure in time the numerous haters will multiply like mogwai under a waterfall, but for now a big win would almost feel like an extension of the movie’s deliriously happy vibe. Like a 4D experience for its fans. Plus it’s a last chance to see Jean Dujardin charm us with another impromptu dance. Vous dansez comme un nuage enthousiaste, vous bel homme!

What Should Have Been Nominated: Take Shelter / A Dangerous Method

If that vile… vile… thing with the obnoxiously precious title can get nominated, then surely anything can. Two of my favourites of last year are more than good enough to get in here, usurping Daldry’s slimy ode to sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-McSweeney’s-style precocity and Spielberg’s admittedly hilarious and Dadaesque World War One comedy The Adventures of War Horse: The Siren-Centaur Hybrid of Death, not to mention The (Wonderful Way White People) Help(ed Those Relatively Unimportant Black Folks). Put these two brilliant movies in there, dammit, and why not add Fast Five while you’re at it. That movie was better than at least seven, arguably eight of the movies in that list, even if only for the moment when The Rock and Vin Diesel crash through a wall during a fight. Better than Malick’s dinosaurs, I reckon.

That”s enough making a fool of myself in front of the entire internet. See you on the other side of the award ceremony, and what will likely be a really cozy opening monologue from Billy Crystal featuring at least one — maybe five — jokes about the lacklustre box office takings of Mr. Saturday Night. Mazel tov!