Shades of Caruso

Announcing The Imminent, Belated Arrival Of The 2010-2011 Caruso Awards

Hello, sexy readers!

Right, quick explanation for the blog inactivity of the last few months. Seems I didn’t read the small print on my blogging licence. Turns out you can’t say anything good about Michael Bay movies at all. Can’t say you enjoyed bits of them even if you were bored or appalled by other bits. Can’t say you understand why he’d want to hire talented, popular actors to fill out smaller roles. Can’t even say you like the cut of his jib; apparently this is racist against giblets.

I didn’t know any of this, and so I foolishly posted a review of Transformers 3: Dark Chocolate Moon Pie that didn’t call for Bay to be sealed in a casket filled with excrement and fired into space. For that, I can only apologise completely and profusely. Transformers 3 was obviously worse than beetroot pickled in rabies and served on a plate made of skunk bone. I must have been brainwashed using some kind of microwave beam to have even momentarily considered otherwise. (Here is a picture of my credibility.)

Anyway, the penalty for this infraction of BlogLaw was temporary suspension of blogging privileges, in case I infected the world with more heretical ideas. It’s been awful. I so wanted to write about the disappointing third act of The Skin I Live In, the frustrating final half of Captain America: The First Avenger, my newfound love of The Good Wife and The Vampire Diaries, my immense and gargantuan adoration of Attack The Block and why I think it’s one of the most important British films of our time, but no. The Bloggery Enforcementation Division (BED) is too powerful to fight against.

Anyway, the period of censure is at an end as of today, so I’m here to announce that from tomorrow I will belatedly begin the 2010-2011 Caruso TV Awards, which have totally been delayed by the tyrannical regime that controls the Internet and not because I’ve been waiting for Breaking Bad to finish because it started so late in the year and I really wanted to put an episode in my Best Episodes list. Nothing like that. It was the Man what stopped me. Anyway, stay “tuned”.

October 3, 2011 Posted by admiralneck | 2010-2011 US TV Season, Attack The Block, Blogging, Breaking Bad, Captain America: The First Avenger, Michael Bay, Pedro Almodovar, The Good Wife, The Vampire Diaries, Transformers | Leave a Comment