Mobile Blogging Test

Holy shitballs, I’m blogging from a phone. An iPhone, no less. It’s like the 21st Century up in here. When I tried to do this using my TyTn II, it flagged this blog as containing naughty content. But who cares about that shitty phone anymore; I’m free! I have my own lovely iPhone 3G to defile with my greasy fingers. I can finally forget all of the flaws of the TyTn II, such as sending empty texts because the send button was too low and got in the way while typing on its lovely keyboard (its one good feature). No more losing all of my info through repeated crashing (O2 has a backup feature called Blueroom). No more messy interfaces and glitches.

Best of all, no more dealing with Orange and their useless cover (no signal at home or at work, which rendered it almost useless. Or should I say uselesser), and no more dealing with their awful customer service. Yesterday’s call to Orange to get a PAC code (so I can retain my phone number, natch) was enlivened by two call-centre jerks forgetting to put me on hold during a transfer, meaning I got to hear them refer to me as a stalker, ha fucking ha. This after one letter of complaint and one phone call following up on their reply, which they wrote six months after I contacted them. Six months!? One call? That’s not exactly Mark Chapman territory.

So, in conclusion, fuck Orange. Fuck HTC. Re-fuck Orange just for good measure. Long live the iPhone and all its pretty apps!

Lost – 316

::Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, had no time, blah blah, lots going on so I didn’t have time, yada yada yada etc. Do you know what I did with my time this week? Counted pages. Thousands of them. It took four days of my life, just counting pages. Reviewing an episode with a number for a name is too damn ironical. Forgive my tardiness, but those pages won’t count themselves! ::goes men’al, on account of the pages::

As surely as night follows day, and muffled annoyance follows Oscar time (love Sean Penn’s performance in Milk though I do, Mickey wuz robbed), so does an awesome Oceanic Six episode follow a post from me follow a bunch of complaints about how boring the Oceanic Six stuff has been. My excitement over how amazing 316 was is muted by my shame over the carping of previous weeks.

That said, I don’t think I was actually wrong. The scene-setting and game-piece moving was necessary to get us to this point, but it sure wasn’t any fun to watch, especially with the island scenes being as exciting as they have been. It just can’t be denied that 316 put those dreary scenes in their place, providing us with post-island LA scenes that were way more interesting than anything from this season or last season, Sayid action scenes aside.


316 was as good an episode of Lost I’ve ever seen, and I’d attribute that excellence to some blatant audience manipulation as mechanical as anything they’ve done before. Information was held back from us for no reason other than to aggravate us, with the characters having numerous opportunities to explain their situation (Kate and the location of Aaron, Hurley’s decision to go back to the island, Ben and his worrying injuries). All of these things will be addressed later in the season, I’m sure, but for once I think there will be a lot less carping about this totally contrived suspense. Firstly, because the majority of the haters have left the building (and good riddance). Secondly, because those of us who love the show are going to relish that suspense, and find that narrative contrivance endearing. I speak for myself, but I suspect the rest of Lost fandom will feel similarly, having grown accustomed to these tricks and knowing that all our questions will be answered in time.


That suspense is delicious for the most part, but in one instance it’s also deeply upsetting. The sight of a blood-soaked Ben, coming so soon after his sinister promise to keep a promise he made to an old friend, was horribly worrying. It’s obvious he was talking about finding and killing Penny, but we have to wait a week to find out as the next episode, The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, shows Locke’s efforts to contact the Oceanic Six prior to committing suicide.

I’d be more anxious about this forthcoming revelation if I thought Penny was dead. At first I figured Desmond had intervened; after all, my suspicion has been that Widmore has been manipulating Desmond into protecting Penny, knowing that Ben was going to try to hurt her at some point. That’s the Sirens of Titan theory in essence. Then an internet exchange reminded me that Penny is Desmond’s Constant. With Penny dead, Desmond would be doomed, which surely can’t happen as the island isn’t finished with him.


Canyon raised an objection to that. Did Desmond only need a Constant when suffering the deadly time-sickness? Now that he’s moored in time again, perhaps he doesn’t need Penny anymore. In that case, she could well be dead. Then a bright spark on the AV Club pointed out that Desmond might have a hard time beating the collapsible-baton-wielding mad dog Linus, but Sayid would have a good go at it, which might account for his capture. That theory made me happy for a while.


The only problem with that is that he’s not being held in the US for a crime committed there. For a start, he wouldn’t be allowed on the same plane as the man he had assaulted. Also, according to someone on the wide world of the web (I can’t remember where I saw it), Ajira 316 was going from LA to Guam and then to Baghdad, which sounds like the worst news possible for Sayid. Those luscious curls of his looked particularly raggedy this week. I reckon it’s the stress.

The wait for an explanation of these events is naturally more excruciating than waiting for clarification on what’s got into Kate, who looks like her life has fallen apart, and that’s before she sleeps with Jack. The poor galoot seems to think he got lucky, but it’s far more likely that Kate is trying to replicate the original conditions of the Oceanic 815 flight by being a proxy for Claire. This is speculation, but it makes sense considering the sketchy rules provided by Miss Hawking, and it has the added bonus of putting Kate directly into Claire’s shoes which, of course, she has been trying to do for three years.


Hurley’s change of heart and Sayid’s predicament are both curious too (and seemingly less traumatic than losing a child and then having to do it with Sad Jack), but it’s seemingly obvious that Ben’s inept manipulations from previous weeks weren’t even necessary. Alienating Hurley, Sayid, and Kate got him nowhere, but some other force intervened to get them onboard, with the extra surprise of getting Frank, who should have been on Oceanic 815, back in the game. (An aside; you have no idea how happy I was to see his grizzly face coming out of the cockpit, even though he now has 50% less grizzle.)


Even so, will Ben get his wish of returning to the island? Has the past three years been filled with nothing but efforts to manouevre the pieces into place so that he can return? Almost certainly, but as he was not on Oceanic 815, would he go down? Theories abound that the front cabin passengers of Ajira 316 are all proxies, that Hurley is Charlie (does that mean he’s high on smack right now), Sayid is Kate, Kate is Claire, Jack is Jack, Locke is Christian (and Christ), and Frank is the original pilot. What about the other passengers? If the woman with Sayid is Kate’s marshall, is Saïd Taghmaoui’s mysterious character Sayid? If so, who is Sun supposed to be? Surely she’s a better fit as Sayid, as she is travelling across the world to find a lost loved one, much as Sayid was. Perhaps Taghmaoui is Jin, an enforcer for an industrialist if he is indeed the hired gun of Widmore.


While it’s up in the air who they all represent, it’s fairly obvious who Ben is supposed to be. He’s injured, suffering from delusions of grandeur, and filled with obnoxious entitlement. He has to be Locke. The irony is delicious.


Of course, episode’s end we only get to see Hurley, Jack and Kate, with Jack saving them both. Of course, during the pilot episode Jack saved Hurley and Claire, as Oceanic 815 exploded around them. Nicely done, though we now have to wait to find out what happened to the others. It seems likely that Ben is stuck with Frank, Sun, Mysterious Saïd Taghmaoui, Sayid, and his captor. Hijinks will ensue, I’m sure. Until then, we have to wrap our brains around the last minute appearance by Jin, decked out in Dharma workclothes. It seems the Island Six’s infiltration of the Dharma Initiative has been going full swing while the Oceanic Six have been bickering.


As I said earlier, this episode redeemed all of the tedious LA scenes from the last 19 episodes, but it wasn’t all good, sadly. Wrecking one of the most important scenes in Lost‘s run, Fionnula Flanagan’s performance inside the Lamp Post scene was nigh-on toe-curling, a ponderous display of snootiness filled with baffling pauses and self-importance. Compared to the naturalistic performances around her, she looked horribly out-of-place. Never again will I complain about Evangeline Lilly’s occasionally flat performance. Compared to Flanagan’s Donald-Sinden-esque over-acting, Lilly looks like Brando.


Still, that whole sequence was redeemed by the thrilling info-dump (pithier and more exciting than the confusing babble of exposition hurled at the BSG fanbase in a recent episode), and the sight of Desmond going ballistic at Hawking, which was beautiful. Sadly, that doesn’t change the fact that his quest to help Faraday by delivering a message has served only to deliver Penny into Ben’s sphere of calamitous intent.

It also featured some lovely compositions from my favourite Lost director, the ever-awesome Stephen Williams. I especially liked this dramatic shot of the Lamppost map, taken from the point of view of the pendulum.


I also like what he did with the lighting scheme with Jack. He was shot either drowned in blue, as in this shot at the church…


…and then again at the bar where he resists getting drunk…


…and again at his apartment.


It was also shown in the background, as in this shot boarding Ajira 316…


…and again on the plane trying to make small talk with Grumpy Kate.


That cold light matches his off-island lifelessness, his cold and miserable demeanour. Then compare that to the vibrant colours on the island, and his mood change.


It wasn’t long before he has a beautifully shot and edited dash through the forest, and then some real action. This stunt, with Action Jack leaping to Hurley’s rescue, was absolutely fucking awesome.


It was so close to the rocks, which made our hair stand on end. I’m fully aware that people seem to strongly dislike Jack, and I’ve been moaning about him for weeks, but when he’s in Action Jack mode, he’s great. It’s especially great for him, as he gets to agonise over Kate again.


Remember a couple of weeks ago when I said she used to be a hardass? I’d like that to come back soon. She’s no kind of damsel-in-distress. Of course, as Jack has, in the past, been repeatedly thrust into the role of reluctant hero by the island, will his new thirst for validation-by-heroism make the island go off him? Should we even be thinking of the island as The Mover of Events anymore? Isn’t it fate and the knotted consequences of time travel that are doing it? I’ve been moving toward the latter theory for a while now, but Kate’s behaviour was troubling.


She’s acting like someone approached her. And where is Aaron? General opinion has it that Claire’s mom does, or Cassidy. The latter option means we get an appearance by the ever-excellent Kim Dickens, which would be great, but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s Widmore. Why else would she voluntarily be getting knocked up by Jack. If indeed that is what she’s doing. Gah! What was that I said about delicious suspense? It might taste nice but it’s very bad for my health.

Great job from everyone not named Fionnula Flanagan this week, with extra-special kudos to Michael Emerson, back to his brilliant best after a few weeks with little to do. His greatest hits this week were his response to Jack’s question about The Lamp Post…


…praying in a manner that can only be described as “sarcastic” (if indeed he is praying)…


…his panicky phonecall, covered in someone’s blood (as seen above), and his wonderfully arrogant behaviour on the plane.


Foxy was also great this week, especially his “conversation” with Locke’s corpse.


The best part of this moment is that Locke, who is not only doubling as Christ by now, is also Jack’s “father”. With this new turn of events, and thanks to the machinations of the island / the Mover of Events, Jack’s rebellions against Locke now seem like the struggling of a petulant teenager against his father. Does this make Miss Hawking his surrogate mother, considering his earlier tantrum?


Speaking of Christian symbolism, Ben went big on the Doubting Thomas stuff this week, showing off in front of what I hope is a copy of Caravaggio’s The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, making Jack feel bad for being a big doubting doubter.


Of course, Jack rebels against the idea that a bigger force is pushing him towards the island, until he finally reads Locke’s suicide note. Foxy acts the shit out of that moment.


The message is typically Lockean. Self-aggrandising, passive-aggressive, whiny.


It’s also perfectly timed to make Jack finally doubt his doubt, just in time for Ajira 316 to fly over the island. Was this the thing that triggered their teleportation? Whatever it was that made it happen, Locke got his wish, just as Jack got his, to get back to the island. Ben wasn’t lying when he said that the island grants wishes.


Speaking of Jack and his doubt, the introduction of his granddad provided him with the first opportunity for doubt-doubt, as he finds the exact item that he needs to “complete” his father, symbolically (i.e. Christian’s shoes). That also provided an explanation for why Christian has been walking around the island in white tennis shoes, which was hugely satisfying.


Other than that, the best thing about this scene was yelling, “The wrong kid died!” when Raymond J. Barry appeared. If you don’t get that joke, watch Walk Hard as soon as possible. It’s imperative that you get that film into your life ASAP.


I’m really glad Saïd Taghmaoui is in Lost. He’s a terrific actor. Sadly, my brain is a big shit thing, so my internal monologue finished all of his lines with the phrase, “My main man.” I’m sure I’m not the only one. Even worse, then I started thinking about the South Park episode Red Sleigh Down. I wonder if Taghmaoui realises how big an effect his short appearance in Three Kings had? There’s a lot to love about that film, but that scene is the one I’ve not been able to get out of my head since.

It’s common knowledge that being a big strapping hero is the thing that makes Jack happiest, but there’s something else out there that brings a smile to his face; having the sex with Kate, even if she does look a bit like a corpse lately.


On the other hand, Kate is only in it for the free food; Jack lips.


Slow down there, lady.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I fully intend to take a tour of Oahu at some point, so I can see the sights, and I really hope that this place is still open.


That is some chintzy-assed decoration there. I love it and hate it, simultaneously.

Jin’s still not dead!


I know this is obvious, but I just can’t help being excited about it.

One thing that made us laugh was Sayid’s reaction to Jack boarding Ajira 316. He’s so shocked!


What was funny was that he did the same thing when Ben walked on.


I had a terrible feeling he would just keep doing this. “Sir, would you care for a packet of pretzels?”


“I’m sorry, sir, we’re all out of apple juice. Would you like some pineapple juice instead?”


“For your information, sir, today’s in-flight movies are Slumdog Millionaire, Happy-Go-Lucky, and The Reader.”


I cannot wait to see Sayid kicking some motherfucking ass ASAP because this easily shocked version is not what I pay nothing to see.

Best. Nerd Reference. Ever.


It’s a comic by Brian K. Vaughan, it’s about a pregnant woman, and it’s a Spanish language version of a comic released by DC, just like the original comic owned by Walt on Oceanic 815. That’s just about the most perfect moment in the whole episode. Plus, it might inspire some Lost fans to get read Y-The Last Man. I heartily recommend it. Despite the soul-crushing final six issues. ::shakes fist at BKV::

This looks like a playset, with action figures arrayed around the outside.


If I believe in Locke, will my wish for a Lamp Post action playset (complete with Miss Hawking action figure) come true? And if I pull the cord on the back of that action figure, will all of her recorded phrases sound really stupid?


Oh boy, I hope we don’t get to spend much more time with this character now. Two seasons waiting for her to come back, and we get all of this ham? Oy.

Okay, time to eat, and watch the next episode. See you in a couple of months week.

It’s The End Of Civilisation As We Know It

Saw this poster at our nearest tube station, with the Metropolitan Police instructing we, the masses, on how to handle a suspicious bag on the train.


So, if the instructions in the black bubble are to be believed, we’re not supposed to do anything? I can’t believe it. All of those right-wingers warning that the left would go all Neville-Chamberlain were right after all. The terrorists win! Someone tell Mark Steyn I was sorry to have doubted him.

Where I Am Felix To The Academy’s Oscar

Tonight is the night when we feeble schlubs get to dip our toes in the lake of glamour that is the Academy Awards, staring in disbelief at the staggering beauty of our betters. I say this without sarcasm, as I am powerless to resist it. The award period is like my Christmas (with the summer season of robots, monsters, superheroes and explosions being my extended birthday). This year, though, has been particularly frustrating, as the likely winners seem more predictable than ever. It’s obvious that, by now, Slumdog Millionaire is going to win most awards. That frustrates me enough as I’m on record as hating the damnable thing, but also because it has robbed us of some speculation fun. Last year I might have had a terrible time picking winners, but it was a lot more fun guessing.

Before revealing my picks (can you bear the suspense?), first the results of our poll to find out the most popular longshot Oscar winner from this year’s nominations. It was pretty clear who was the favourite.

  • Kung Fu Panda (Animated Feature Film) – 6 (50%)
  • Martin McDonagh (Original Screenplay – In Bruges) – 3 (25%)
  • Richard Jenkins (Actor- The Visitor) – 2 (16%)
  • Melissa Leo (Actress – Frozen River) – 1 (8%)
  • Michael Shannon (Supporting Actor – Revolutionary Road) – 0 (0%)
  • Viola Davis (Supporting Actress – Doubt) – 0 (0%)
  • Gus Van Sant (Director – Milk) – 0 (0%)
  • Thomas Newman (Soundtrack – Wall*E) – 0 (0%)
  • Peter Morgan (Adapted Screenplay – Frost/Nixon) – 0 (0%)
  • Wally Pfister (Cinematography – The Dark Knight) – 0 (0%)
  • The Baader Meinhof Complex (Foreign Language Film) – 0 (0%)
  • Milk (Picture) – 0 (0%)
  • Iron Man (Visual Effects) – 0 (0%)
  • Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Makeup) – 0 (0%)
  • The Dark Knight (Sound Editing) – 0 (0%)
  • Wanted (Sound Mixing) – 0 (0%)
  • Kung Fu Panda‘s win in this most insignificant of polls warms my heart. KFP has been damned with faint praise since its release (“It’s surprisingly good for a Dreamworks movie!” “It’s a lot of fun, but it’s not profound like the Pixar film!” etc.), though that didn’t stop it sweeping the board at the Annies, recently. Recently I rewatched Wall*E, hoping I would like it more second time around, but sadly no. As usual, I offer the usual caveats. It’s beautiful, it’s got a lot of incredible ideas and imagery, and the sound design is stunning, but the second half is flat, and Wall*E spends far too much of the movie falling over or having things land on him. In Kung Fu Panda the slapstick has a purpose (Po’s clumsiness is the source of his kung fu strengths, as his unpredictability makes him unstoppable), whereas in Wall*E it’s more like punctuation at the end of scenes, something I have a real problem with. The analogy I ended up with was that Kung Fu Panda was a Buster Keaton movie (it’s all about the story and the spectacle), and Wall*E was a Charlie Chaplin movie (convinced of its own importance, and deeply unfunny). Keaton beats Chaplin any day of the week. Sorry, Pixar.

    The votes for Martin McDonagh, Richard Jenkins (who had a really good year with great work in Burn After Reading and Step Brothers as well), and Melissa Leo were cool too, but the latter two are in categories that seem decided already. Martin McDonagh has a better chance, as his category of Best Original Screenplay is kinda weak, but even so, In Bruges was too filthy and odd to win votes from the staid Academy members. Shame. No one else got a single vote. Maybe I chose badly, or maybe readers of this blog haven’t seen the movies I picked. No matter. Thanks to everyone who participated.

    And now, my picks for this year. Except for a couple of categories, it was a no-brainer. Even if the Weinsteins have been trying to turn people against Slumdog, it’s just not going to happen. To be honest, I may have hated Slumdog, but I might hate The Reader more. Not only is it of questionable value as a comment on post-Nazi German guilt (I think these comments and these reviews sum up my feelings far better than I could express), it’s also a really stupid and pompous movie, filled with wall-to-wall cliches and laughable dialogue. David Hare and Stephen Daldry should hang their heads in shame. The list of nominees seems even worse now that I’ve seen that fucking appalling exercise in static worthiness. And so, I think the Oscars will, should, and can’t (due to stupidity) go to the following…

    Best Picture:

    Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
    Should Win: Milk
    Should’ve Been Nominated: The Dark Knight / Rachel Getting Married / The Wrestler

    I may have had some reservations about Milk, but it’s far and away the best movie of a really poor bunch, and by an order of magnitude in the case of Slumdog and The Reader. The snubs for the three films I have listed truly grate on me. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; this is the worst nominations list I can remember, which is another thing that has robbed me of my enthusiasm.

    Best Director:

    Will Win: Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire
    Should Win: David Fincher – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Christopher Nolan – The Dark Knight / Jonathan Demme – Rachel Getting Married

    An easy pick, though I chose Fincher as the Should Win as there was so much work done on Benjamin Button that I thought he edged it over Van Sant, who also did excellent work on Milk (though, as I’ve said before I would have liked a bit more unconventionality in it). None of this matters, though. Boyle will win it for the worst film of his career. Yuk.

    Best Actor:

    Will Win: Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler
    Should Win: Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Robert Downey Jr. – Iron Man

    This has to happen. If someone else won it would be the biggest upset of the night. And by upset, I mean, I would turn off the TV and not bother watching to the end. Come on, Mickey!

    Best Actress:

    Will Win: Kate Winslet – The Reader
    Should Win: Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Kate Winslet – Revolutionary Road / Julianne Moore – Blindness

    I love Winslet and think she’s one of the great actors of our time (seriously), but for The Reader? Nuh-uh. She’s good in it, but that movie deserves no reward. Having her nominated for that and not the far superior (and not despicable) Revolutionary Road is testament to the efficacy of the Weinstein’s strong-arming tactics, but that’s little consolation to us. I’d love for Anne Hathaway to win instead, just to rob the Weinstein’s of their little victory, but that would also rob Winslet, who has deserved Academy recognition for about ten years at least.

    Best Supporting Actor:

    Will Win: Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
    Should Win: Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Aaron Eckhart – The Dark Knight / Bill Irwin – Rachel Getting Married

    Another no-brainer. And deservedly so.

    Best Supporting Actress:

    Will Win: Penélope Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
    Should Win: Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Rosemarie DeWitt – Rachel Getting Married

    I would have plumped for someone else in this category, but Tomei isn’t winning (even though the Academy might like to legitimise her Vinny award), and Cruz will get it for losing out on a justified award for Volver.

    Best Original Screenplay:

    Will Win: Milk – Dustin Lance Black
    Should Win: In Bruges – Martin McDonagh
    Should’ve Been Nominated: The Wrestler – Robert D. Seigel

    See above for my feelings on this. Milk wasn’t a bad screenplay, but it was pretty unimaginative, and filled with clunky exposition. Seigel’s work on The Wrestler, on the other hand, was feather-light. It would have been nice for a former Onion employee to get a nod.

    Best Adapted Screenplay:

    Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire – Simon Beaufoy
    Should Win: Frost/Nixon – Peter Morgan
    Should’ve Been Nominated: The Dark Knight – Christopher Nolan / Jonathan Nolan / David Goyer

    A particularly weak field. Beaufoy’s script is shockingly poor, a stream of one-dimensional characters, contrivance, phony uplift, and childish humour. That said, David Hare’s adaptation of Bernard Schlink’s novel is equally vapid. I would love for them both to lose to Peter Morgan, even if his screenplay was also loaded with some silly Cliff Notes-style exposition to help the viewer along (though the amount of contextual information in that film has to go somewhere if it’s going to be less than fifteen hours long).

    Best Animated Feature:

    Will Win: WALL-E – Andrew Stanton
    Should Win: Kung Fu Panda – Mark Osborne and John Stevenson
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Fear(s) of the Dark – Various

    I’ve not even seen Fear(s) of the Dark, but it sounds great, and it would be fun to see Charles Burns getting a nomination (read Black Hole; it’s awesome). That would have meant Bolt misses out, which is a shame, as it’s a lot of fun, and the nomination is a nice present to Disney Animation, which has had a difficult couple of years.

    Best Foreign Language Film:

    Will Win: The Class (France) in French – Laurent Cantet
    Should Win: Waltz with Bashir (Israel) in Hebrew – Ari Folman
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Gomorrah (Italy) – Matteo Girrone

    I suspect The Class will win as much for its quality as for not being the far more controversial Waltz With Bashir. I’ve not yet seen The Class, and it might be amazing, but I can vouch for the incredible Bashir, a film that moved me to horrible tears. I just can’t see something that bleak winning an Oscar. Though it would ruin my spread, I’m hoping for a Bashir win here.

    Best Animated Short:

    Will Win: This Way Up – Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

    As I’ve not seen anything in this category, I don’t feel right commenting on what should or shouldn’t have been nominated, but I will make this prediction, based on my super-scientific method of picking the one I’ve heard of (this short was profiled in the Times this week). Besides, it looks pretty cool.

    Best Art Direction:

    Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo
    Should Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Hellboy II: The Golden Army – Stephen Scott

    The wide-range of time periods for this movie, and the amount of work in replicating them, ensures this win. Either that or The Duchess will win for Removal of Contemporary Items From Stately Homes. Yawn.

    Best Cinematography:

    Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Claudio Miranda
    Should Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Claudio Miranda
    Should’ve Been Nominated: The Spiderwick Chronicles – Caleb Deschanel / The Fall – Colin Watkinson

    It was ravishing! How can it lose? It won’t win anything not in the non-technical categories, so this is a sure thing (he said with obnoxious over-confidence).

    Best Costume Design:

    Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Jacqueline West
    Should Win: Milk – Danny Glicker
    Should’ve Been Nominated: The Fall – Eiko Ishioka

    As in the previous category, an egregious snub for The Fall. I know the movie wasn’t seen by many people, but even just looking at the trailer should be enough of a showreel to get some attention. It was one of the most beautiful movies ever made, and no one noticed. I’d feel sorry for the director, for which this was a work of great personal significance, but I imagine worldly things do not matter to the mighty… TARSEM!

    Best Documentary Feature:

    Will Win: Trouble the Water
    Should Win: Man on Wire
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Standard Operating Procedure

    Boy, I was looking forward to watching Trouble The Water on More4 this week, but our Sky+ record function has gone kerflooey, so that’s not happening any time soon. I would think that will win over Man On Wire due to the subject matter, no matter how good it is (I hear it’s wonderful, but I wouldn’t know). Maybe I’m being too cynical. I’ll happily eat my words later, if necessary.

    Best Documentary Short:

    Will Win: The Conscience of Nhem En – Steven Okazaki

    As with the animation short, I’ve not seen any of the nominees in this category, so I won’t insult everyone here, and will plump for this nominee as I have heard of it as well.

    Best Film Editing:

    Will Win: The Dark Knight – Lee Smith
    Should Win: The Dark Knight – Lee Smith
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Speed Racer – Roger Barton, Zach Staenberg

    There is an awful error in The Dark Knight, during the Batpod sequence, where Batman shoots a glass door, drives through a building, shoots another glass door, and then is back in the building even though it should have driven out. GAH! It drives me crazy every time I watch it. Even so, the editors do an amazing job of cutting a big complex movie down to a manageable size (it should have been a lot longer).

    Best Live Action Short:

    Will Win: On the Line (Auf der Strecke)

    Here is where my foolproof method for selecting the hard-to-find nominees fails. I’ve not heard anything about any of these movies. ::sigh:: Sorry, short film filmmakers. I’m going for On The Line as it’s the top of the list. Oy, that’s some crappy motivation.

    Best Makeup:

    Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Greg Cannom
    Should Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Greg Cannom

    I didn’t select a film that should have been nominated, as I think they picked the best three films of the year, though I will say I suspect Tropic Thunder didn’t get picked for Robert Downey Jr.’s blackface makeup as the Kodak theatre would explode from the white liberal confusion over it. I think Ben Stiller et al have a good defense when they say that the character of Kirk Lazarus is a lampoon of actorly pretension, and it’s a hilarious turn, but I really don’t think we’re ready to be handing out awards for that kind of divisive and explosive makeup just yet.

    Best Original Score:

    Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Alexandre Desplat
    Should Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Alexandre Desplat
    Should’ve Been Nominated: The Dark Knight – Hans Zimmer, James Newton Howard

    Doesn’t it seem ironic now that The Dark Knight‘s ineligibility caused so much fuss, and all for nothing? Repeated viewings have shown how complex, unorthodox, and stirring that soundtrack is. The eventual snub is deeply frustrating. And why did I choose Desplat’s soundtrack over A.R. Rahman? Because Desplat is super-awesome and I just don’t want Slumdog to keep winning things. Please?!

    Best Original Song:

    Will Win: “Down to Earth” from WALL-E – Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman (music), Peter Gabriel (lyrics)
    Should Win: “Down to Earth” from WALL-E – Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman (music), Peter Gabriel (lyrics)
    Should’ve Been Nominated: “The Wrestler” from The Wrestler – Bruce Springsteen

    This category is utter bullshit this year. I can understand Slumdog and Wall*E getting a nomination each, but leaving out Springsteen makes absolutely no sense. It’s good news for Peter Gabriel, though. Slumdog should, again, win, but I suspect (as does Richard Corliss in his picks) that the Slumdog vote will be split, leaving Gabriel free and clear to win.

    Best Sound Editing:

    Will Win: WALL-E – Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
    Should Win: WALL-E – Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Speed Racer – Dane A. Davis, Mike Chock, Drew Yerys

    Big no-brainer. Burtt’s work is the main reason Wall*E works at all.

    Best Sound Mixing:

    Will Win: The Dark Knight – Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick
    Should Win: The Dark Knight – Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Speed Racer – Felix Andriessens, Christian Wegner

    The Dark Knight is the big action film of the year. This is the way this kind of voting goes.

    Best Visual Effects:

    Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron
    Should Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron
    Should’ve Been Nominated: Speed Racer – John Gaeta

    The last no-brainer, though I’m still upset with the FX voters for yet again snubbing John Gaeta’s work. The same thing happened with the two Matrix sequels. No matter what you think of those films, the effects were ground-breaking and beautiful. Who has this guy pissed off in the FX community to keep getting snubbed like this? I’d put Speed Racer above the competent Iron Man work any day of the week.

    And that’s that. Sorry for going on at such great length. After tonight I hope to stop thinking about this for at least eight months. Getting annoyed by something so trivial is exhausting.

    Lost – This Place Is Death

    ::Disclaimer: Yet again my efforts to post this before the US transmission of the next episode failed due to work constraints, so this post about This Place Is Death (episode 5:05) is going out after the US broadcast of 316. I’m well aware that some of this may be already rendered moot, but for the benefit of UK readers, I’m posting it anyway. How committed am I to doing this post properly? Last night I could have watched 316 but chose not to so as not to contaminate this post. Instead, I played Rock Band with Canyon. OMG jumping to medium drums and then stupidly trying to complete Run To The Hills and Vaseline without preparation? Bad move.::

    Last year popular internet opinion held that the Juliet-centric episode The Other Woman was a low-point for the show, with flashbacks detailing her time on the island, her affair with Goodwin, and the vengeful nature of Ben. Perhaps it was the melodramatic race-against-time plot that annoyed fans, or the Jack-Juliet love story, or just apathy towards the former Other. Whatever the criticism, it was super-wrong. The Other Woman was misunderstood; not as good as The Constant (which preceded it), but still delivering some fine moments and valuable insights into Juliet and Ben’s relationship. In my humble opinion, last season’s lowpoint was Ji Yeon, and again, even that wasn’t without merit.


    Funnily enough, considering some have branded This Place Is Death a disappointment and momentum-breaker just as they did The Other Woman, this episode was written by the Ji Yeon team of Kitsis and Horowitz, and this Lost fan reckons it’s nowhere near deserving of the criticism, making up for their previous clunker with some bravura setpieces, great character work, and much-needed answers.


    Not that it was perfect. The LA scenes continue to drag, even with Ben at his spikiest. Though the reunion of the Oceanic Six originally struck me as contrived, seeing them split up was equally frustrating. At first it was a pleasant “How will they resolve this fine mess?” frustration, but with Eloise Hawking’s announcement that they hadn’t needed them altogether after all, it seems the flapping about trying to get everyone together was for nothing. The best thing about these scenes was Desmond coming face to face with Faraday’s mother, aka Eloise Hawking, and seeing his reaction. It was only a short scene, but the sense it gave me that seismic events were happening on the show, bringing things to a conclusion one piece at a time, was hugely important.


    Actually, even taking that great moment into account, I shouldn’t be too hard on the LA scenes. As I said, I’ve not seen 316 yet, so I don’t know how events in that will affect these musings, but there’s a possibility that the whole group was never needed to trigger a return to the island, but it was necessary for Ben to gain access. Now that it looks like only Sun, Jack, and Desmond will be returning, perhaps the island is sated but Ben will be left to seethe, exiled from the island forever. Frustrating for Ben fans, but it would at least save the show from looking like the past few weeks have been a waste of time. (More on that later.)

    Even with some award-worthy fanwanking, these scenes were nowhere near as exciting as the island shenanigans, especially when the big reveal was hearing that Ms. Hawking really is Faraday’s mother, as fans have suspected for a while now. That’s fascinating stuff, and promises to make Faraday the most important character on the show, but it’s not a surprise anymore. We’re all beginning to tie the disparate story threads together now, and connections are being made between every newly introduced character and the established ones.


    That doesn’t matter too much, as the show still throws curveballs. Charlotte’s revelation, that she had been visited by Faraday during her childhood on the island, was a headfuck, though it makes her affection for him seem kinda creepy. She didn’t have a strong memory of it, so it must have been repressed until her time-jaunting wrecked her brain, but subconsciously she has been acting on it. On a show where characters are haunted by the people from their past, this makes sense. Ben has a fixation either on his mother or the mysterious Annie, which explains his obsession with Juliet. Kate has a problem with bad boys, hence her attraction to Sawyer, but also tried to overcompensate with good men (see her marriage to Nathan Fillion, as well as her post-island fling with Jack). Even Faraday’s affection for Charlotte is informed by his guilt over poor Teresa Spencer, which makes Charlotte’s death all the more tragic.


    Yes, just as the Island Six becomes the Island Seven with the return of Jin, the team cruelly reverts back to six as Charlotte succumbs to the brain-melt that killed Minkowski. Just as I had started to like her, too. It’s fair to say that Faraday will now be compelled to infiltrate the Orchid station to try to alter the timeline and save Charlotte, even though he knows this is futile. Here are Charlotte’s tragic final moments, her mind skipping through time, with Michael Giacchino doing his traditional excellent job.

    In the past, Lost fans have suspected that Les Besixdouzers were killed by the same brain-melt that killed Minkowski, as Rousseau’s description of their death (from all the way back in season one) was vague enough to be explained by any number of things. This episode, we found out… Well, nothing and everything, really. In a bravura sequence that left us both gasping for air, Smokey returned and terrorised Jin and his French companions, dragging Montand into a group of ruins with such force that his arm is pulled off (a detail from Rousseau’s stories that I had forgotten about), and then, from its shadowy lair (aka a Cerberus vent per the blast door map), imitates Montand’s voice in an attempt to draw in the rest of the group. Here is the awesome scene.

    Or is it an imitation? Jin leaps from that period to a later date to find Les Besixdouzers almost all dead, with Rousseau and her lover gripped with paranoia, convinced that somehow each is a threat to the other. Lindelof and Cuse have, in the past, said that we find out something new about Smokey each time it appears, but this time it’s hard to be certain what is going on. Is Smokey imitating the group or possessing them? Rousseau kills her lover after he tries to kill her, but is his failed attack caused by Smokey possessing him, or is he just mistakenly convinced that it is Rousseau who is possessed? This is the type of mystery that causes schisms in the Lost fanbase, though at least that will be conducted with some semblance of courtesy, and not at gunpoint. Lost fans are better than that.


    The attack by Smokey was a superb setpiece, opening with our favourite insubstantial otherworldly Rottweiler stalking Les Besixdouzers in long grass, burbling as it crawls into a flanking position. In previous encounter is has used brute force (or mere curiosity), but here it’s a predator. Of all its appearances, this was the creepiest.


    The sequence continues with much hectic violence, and a startling maiming, but that wasn’t the most shocking moment of the episode. Locke’s long-overdue descent into the frozen donkey wheel featured a shot of a compound fracture that upset us so much we had to pause the recording while we recovered. I have a serious terror of broken bones, so this was no fun.


    How fucked up has Locke been his whole life? Shot twice, thrown out of a window, broken back, stolen kidney, bullied as a kid, compound fracture, and soon, somehow, death. All because he wants to be a leader of men. It’s like he’s been on twenty hero’s journeys at once. Poor bastard. And then to find out that Jacob meant for him to be exiled from the island instead of Ben. Or was he? Does Jacob even exist like we think he does? Or is this further proof that Jacob is Future Locke, that his exhortation to move the island (by proxy through Christian) was Future Locke’s attempt to alter time by getting himself off the island earlier so as to thwart fate?


    Of course, Locke’s trip down the well echoes Locke’s descent into Swan station, not to mention his fall from the eighth floor, his drop from the cliff under Yemi’s plane, and his close call many moons ago, when Smokey tried to drag him into a Cerberus Vent (at the end of season one), except this time he’s falling into light and not darkness. Also, the time-sealed well was reminiscent of the burial of Nikki and Paulo from Kitsis and Horowitz’ Expose. Even better, it was just a chilling visual.


    So yeah, the island stuff has been golder than gold, which is bad news for the non-island scenes. The LA scenes have been especially annoying as we’ve spent a long time in murk, waiting for some clue as to what is going to happen next for the Oceanic Six. The scenes in Ben’s van, though they feature a lovely moment with an exasperated Ben flipping his lid at Sun, have been too gloomy to enjoy. Seriously, I can’t even see what’s going on in some of these shots. Is Jack crying? There’s not enough light to reflect off his many many tears.


    Still, I can appreciate they’re meant to be a mirror version of the scenes on the island. While Locke descends through light into a place of darkness and further confusion, Jack and the others go through gloom to end up in a place of light and, hopefully, revelation.


    Certainly the otherwise expected news of Eloise Hawking’s family ties is still more illuminating than Christian Shepherd’s speech to Locke, with his cryptic comments about sacrifice (plus bonus snark about Ben’s untrustworthiness).


    Outside the Church of the Sinister Old Physicist is a large statue of Jesus, which is apt considering it follows one of the most religiously resonant moments in the show so far. Inside the frozen donkey wheel chamber Christian doesn’t help Locke walk to the broken donkey wheel, but convinces Locke he has to do it himself. Obviously this is typical religious allegory, making the lame walk (and not for the first time). However, this time it’s Locke using his willpower to do it, after prompting by Shepherd. Just to drive the point home, Locke’s struggle with the broken wooden wheel echoes Christ’s struggle carrying the cross.


    No mysticism is necessary to make this allegory work. Locke triumphs because he has to, with the added plot point that it’s probably because Christian can’t touch him. That seems to be implied, especially as he is unable (or unwilling) to touch the donkey wheel. That doesn’t explain why he can use a lantern on the wall…


    …but I’m sure there’s some fanwank that can resolve that. Special kudos go to Terry O’Quinn, who has been given less opportunity to shine in recent episodes, partly a consequence of the focus falling on the many other characters. For us Locke fans, that was frustrating, but his scenes at the well – bargaining with a terrified Jin, accepting a deal with him to lie to Sun, and generally being resigned to his pretty crappy fate – were wonderful.


    Even better, his acceptance of the price he has to pay to do the right thing was beautifully played, realising that he was never meant to inherit all of the things he thought were his, and that his legacy, as wretched as it was, was stolen from him by Ben. Yet again Locke realises he is not the man he hoped he was, just in time for Christian to tell him he believes in him.


    So, according to Christian, Ben was lying when he said Locke was supposed to stay on the island. Why would he do that, considering he obviously dreaded leaving it? Admittedly he wanted to terrorise Widmore after he killed Alex, but I suspect Ben always knew he could get back to the island with the help of Miss Hawking, and thus took Locke’s place. This would explain how he can get back to the island and thus sate my Ben fandom (this, in particular, is liable to be proved wrong by 316).


    Of course I really want all of them to get back to the island, because seeing them mope about LA is trying my last nerve. The gulf between the incredible island scenes and the prosaic real world stuff has never been wider. When people bitched about the flashbacks in the previous seasons, I guess this is what that felt like. It’s a bit harsh, as the previous off-island was rarely this devoid of incident (at least now Sayid’s not periodically killing people with miscellaneous objects). It will pick up, I’m sure, but for now, it’s becoming a real drag on the show’s momentum.


    That said, there was a very interesting moment when Desmond arrives, and Ben’s reaction was one of what seemed to be genuine surprise. This leads me to believe that, yet again, my Sirens of Titan theory is being strengthened, albeit only slightly. In the past Ben has seemed to have been completely on top of everything, but here he is seemingly caught out. Considering this is a man who has only been surprised once in his life (when Bastard Keamy killed Alex), he seems to have an amazing knowledge of what events are going to happen in the future. I’ve always believed he has been able to manipulate people so well because he has seen the future and knows how to move people into position using the things they care about as leverage.


    For a long time this has worked, but in the last couple of episodes it has seemingly gone awry. Kate and Sayid leave in a terrible huff (has Sayid discovered that Ben killed Nadia, which is looking more likely with every week?), and Sun looks ready to kill. Only Jack is following him willingly at this point, but then he is on the verge of insanity by now. Unless 316 proves me horribly wrong, has Ben lost his mojo because now he’s off the island he has no way of finding out how best to manipulate people into position?


    Then again, this season appears to be about things falling apart. Ben’s plan’s are going awry, and time itself has become a maze for the Island Six. The worst consequence (so far) of this terrible temporal disaster is the sad death of Charlotte. Funnily enough (well, not funnily, but you get my meaning), this week I finally started reading Slaughterhouse 5, by Vonnegut, aware that this season was referencing that book far more directly than before. It is, of course, superb, but one passage in particular made me smile. Last week I talked about Alan Moore’s Watchmen, and Dr. Manhattan’s comments about time being a crystal. Seems he cribbed that from Vonnegut. This passage, from a letter written by Billy Pilgrim concerning his encounters with denizens of the planet Tralfamadore (also featured in Sirens of Titan), is obviously one of the main inspirations for Lost.

    The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just the way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and once that moment is gone it is gone forever.

    When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the person is in a bad condition in that particular moment, but that the same person is fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that someone is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is “So it goes.”

    Though we’re about to see something like that as Faraday goes into Charlotte’s past to give her that futile warning, I doubt that Billy Pilgrim’s comments about time will be any comfort.


    Right, time to wrap this up, by going on and on about a bunch of disparate things, as is tradition.

    Jin’s trip through the island interior with Les Besixdouzers brought us to what could be a new location, or one we’ve seen before but not like this.


    Are these the Ruins that the Others talked about? What with Smokey hanging out there, surely not. Who would want to go here and risk being yanked about?


    Smokey’s hiding place, an ominous split in the ground, looks like it was created by some kind of earthquake. Or maybe I’m just mouthing off.


    At the end of the first season, when it tried to suck Locke into the ground, it seemed to make the ground open somehow. That was what I assumed was a Cerberus Vent, the mysterious features listed on the blast door map. This looks nothing like that. Did something happen to release Smokey from the depths? Or should I say, Underworld?


    At least, that’s what I thought these heiroglyphs on the side of the building were saying, as that was what the countdown timer in Swan station said. This set of heiroglyphs seems to be saying something else. Something about health. Irony! Speaking of mysterious symbols, what is this on Jin’s t-shirt?


    Maybe that’s just what it looks like, but it’s weird anyway. Is this the tinest reference to Communist Russia ever? For what purpose? Someone on this board suspects it’s a costume department thing, and then they make comments about Communism. Yet again I’m way too slow.

    Another anagram, a bit more Hoffs-Drawlar than Ethan Rom. Canton-Rainier becomes Reincarnation.


    It also become Air Train Nonce. That doesn’t sound so apt. Mind you, it also becomes A Creator In Inn, which is ironic, as it’s sitting next to a big statue of Jesus (obviously a more direct reference than Locke’s imitation earlier), the son of a creator who was born next to an inn. I’m sure that’s what they were getting at.

    Is this the first time Jin has smiled like this? I don’t remember him smiling this much when Sun announced she was pregnant. My God, the pretty! It dazzles!


    Mind you, even Wrathful Sun could crank out a smile of her own prior to her very short rampage.


    See previous comment about dazzling. Are they the most photogenic couple on TV? I cannot even begin to explain how happy I am now that Jin is back. It means there will be a lot less of this nonsense…


    …which, while dramatically interesting, shrank Sun’s future plotlines into, “Avenge Jin.” Okay, I’ll admit part of the reason I didn’t want that to happen was that it would rob me of my beloved Ben, but also because Sun was one of the few characters who had managed to survive with no blood on her hands, even if she had seen some terrible things (her lover’s death and Jin’s moral compromise spring to mind).


    Yunjin Kim has been great, but I miss the old Sun. Seeing her soften upon receiving Jin’s ring from Ben was wonderful, especially as this deceptively happy moment was in fact a betrayal of Jin, as Ben uses her affection for her husband to manipulate her into doing his bidding against Jin and Locke’s wishes. Oh Ben, you delightful bastard!


    Daniel Dae Kim got a couple of lovely scenes as well. His panicky realisation that Locke’s plan would jeopardise his wife who, as far as he knows, is still pregnant, was brilliantly played. Even better, the downcast expression on his face as Danielle and Robert Rousseau discuss their unborn child was heartbreaking. Kudos to the showrunners and writers for engineering that parallel, and also to episode director Paul A. Edwards for the image.


    Speaking of lovely images, this establishing shot of poor Charlotte in her final moments was breathtaking.


    It wasn’t all pretty foliage and hotties smiling, and not just because Charlotte’s death was so drawn out and traumatic. Rebecca Mader is already pale, but the makeup experts managed to make her look even more deathly. It was horribly upsetting to watch her deteriorate in Faraday’s arms.


    On top of that horror, was this the most bloodthirsty episode since the pilot? We’re still not sure how many of the Losties died in the season opener (though it did seem like almost everyone), but this week we saw Charlotte die, Montand ripped apart, Robert Rousseau shot in the head, and two corpses with the same problem.


    And poor Nadine died and fell out of a tree. Poor Nadine, whoever she was.


    Smokey’s last rampage, when he went to town on Keamy and his bunch of evil mercs, was less deadly than this. Maybe Smokey has mellowed since the 80s?

    It’s no secret that I think Juliet is a terrific character, but is she an angel? Her tolerance of Sawyer’s (highly entertaining) meltdowns makes her seem like a saint, but this week her benificent smile prior to Locke’s descent was the calmest thing that happened throughout the episode.


    And then, just to seal the deal, she glows!


    Is she an angel (by which I mean an actual messenger of a higher being)? Is she dead and we just didn’t realise it? There’s something going on here, I’m sure. Didn’t Cuse and Lindelof say they were going to have a Juliet-centric episode soon, or at least give her more to do after she got sidelined last season?

    Speaking of sidelined, is Miles ever going to get to do anything interesting again?


    Sure, I get that with the large cast, some characters are going to be sidelined (see also: Juliet, Jack, Kate), but someone as mysterious as Miles needs more to do. It’s a waste of Ken Leung. Of course, having him be bitchy with Sawyer around would be redundant, but then Sawyer has become far more cuddly just lately. If you don’t believe me, check this out.

    From grumpy (but secretly lovable) asshole, to the Prom King. As I was saying to someone the other day, every time an episode ends and he hasn’t died, I offer a prayer to Jacob. May my lovely Sawyer get everything he wants, even if what he wants is Kate, this week seen having a real snit just because Ben convinced her she was going to lose Aaron.


    Oh God stop overreacting! Ben had good reason to totally con you into a state of huge panic. I think someone needs to head back to the island to get some of that sweet sweet Sawyer-Sugar. They can totally have polar bear sex again! I think we can all get behind that possibility.

    In his testy AV Club review Noel Murray complained that the time-jaunting was not used to show us more of the island’s history. It’s rare I disagree with him, but he’s way off here. To be honest, the convenient “landings” will only be forgivable if something is guiding them, so a break from that was a relief. Anyway, the jumping in this episode was obviously meant to show how quickly the situation was deteriorating for our heroes, with the slowly brightening white light now a torrent of crashing imagery and agonised reactions.


    Surely this is self-evident, especially when we see that the frozen donkey wheel is obviously flapping about off its axis (and even though this concept seemed to be verging on ludicrousness before, I now totally accept it. Weird).


    That said, we still got some sense of how things were progressing early on. The first time we see poor Robert Rousseau, he’s clean-shaven.


    The next time we see him, after Jin has jumped away, he’s got a beard. Or is this Smokey disguising itself as face fuzz?


    How long was the jump? A couple of weeks? And everyone is dead? In the words of Ron Burgundy, “Boy, that escalated quickly!” And how far into the future have they gone here, with the Orchid station broken down and dilapidated?


    Twenty years? Thirty? Will we see interlopers on the island with Gauss guns and jetpacks? If not, can we please?

    Not much Sayid this week, but we did get this.


    Even in the murky darkness of Hawaii LA, you know you don’t fuck with The Jarrah.

    Now that the Island Six have leapt to a new time period, I guess this is the last we’ll see of the young, non-grungy Danielle.


    The Melissa Farman fanclub, the one that sprung up very very quickly through the internet, is in mourning, I’ll bet.

    At last! I’m calling that done. Now I can watch 316 and see just how far off the mark I am. Rock Band will have to wait.

    ETA: Having now seen the excellent 316 (a good Jack-centric episode; a real rarity), I’m considering renaming this as “Lost – This Post Is Wrong.” I really was off the mark, wasn’t I.

    Lost – The Little Prince

    With every new episode of Lost, my early concern looks stupider and stupider. The Little Prince might have been a Kate-centric episode (which means expectations are best kept low), and it might have spent too long going back and forth in LA between the miserable Oceanic Six, but even if you could happily write off 15 minutes of the show, it was still utterly magnificent. The travails of the Island Six are so fleet-footed, so odd, so suspenseful and loaded with dread and adventure, that I’m tempted to say these moments are the best thing that has ever happened to the show. Better than the reveal of Swan station’s purpose. Better than Ben’s arrival. Better even than Juliet’s arrival (!!!!). When they’re onscreen, the show flies.


    Of course, The Little Prince also featured the long-awaited visualisation of Rousseau’s backstory, and we finally see that she was indeed pregnant with Alex. Of course, this has long been established as fact, but after suffering through Ben’s obfuscations and double-talk for so long, it was hard to say what was true and what wasn’t. As happens a lot with this show, the audience was kept up in the air about this issue by having a terrible liar and a mad woman giving differing versions of the truth, meaning we couldn’t figure out what to think, but now I can unequivocally say that Ben Linus is less reliable than a crazed woman. That’s a hell of an indictment.


    But that’s not even the best thing about this amazing episode. I don’t think it has ever made me yell as loudly as it did when the French characters (who I have been thinking of as Les Besixdouzers after their boat, itself a reference to The Little Prince) found a man floating in the island. Remember when I bitched about characters having these relentless slow reveals a couple of weeks back? Man, I really should just shut up, because this reveal was one of my all-time favourite Lost moments. Jin lives! Jin! His return surely deserved more of a musical sting than the pitiful “blurp” he got, compared to the Trumpet Fart of Doom that heralded the totally predictable Rousseau revelation at the end of the episode (it’s a French woman with curly brown hair. I wonder who she could be?!?!).


    Jin’s return is so great I’m still reeling a week later. Canyon is totally vindicated after months of maintaining he wasn’t killed in the Kahuna explosion. I just didn’t see how it was possible, what with the enormity of the blast and the fact that the boat was so far away from the island, but obviously her theory (that being at the back of the boat meant the blast threw him into the boundary of the island’s influence) was correct. I have been gorging myself on crow pie ever since.


    This news is great for many reasons, mainly because we love Jin, but also because it makes Sun’s move to the darkside way more interesting than it had been, not to mention a bit clearer. I wasn’t sure whether we were meant to be rooting for her or not, but now I guess we all just want her to team up with the rest of the Oceanic Six and travel back with them so that we can get a big reunion, and forever banish Sun’s terrifying Face Of Righteous Vengeance.


    I say I didn’t find the LA sequences interesting, but I’m merely exaggerating. I doubt the show could ever truly bore me, even if I’m not really bothered what happens to Kate and Aaron. Though Kate sitting in a car watching paint dry a lawyer go for a trip is not the best use of Lost‘s ever-shrinking supply of time, the reveal that her tormenter is not Claire’s mom was nifty, if a little contrived. It also gave Jack a chance to get stressed out. I’m sure him and his martyr complex were thrilled.


    Luckily, it wasn’t all baby angst. In the final LA scene we find out that, shock of shocks, Ben is responsible for driving the Oceanic 6 to a fateful rendezvous at a dock, having manipulated them all into thinking they were under siege from Widmore or some other unidentified bad guy. His brilliance at manipulating the Oceanic Six is such that I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s helped Sun out, knowing she is trying to kill him but gambling on talking her out of it before she can do it.


    The possibility of this manipulation was always likely, Ben being Ben, but it lingered in the back of my mind as a probable scenario more because it plays out the Sirens of Titan theory in microcosm than because Ben is a shady creep. If the island, or the forces that serve the island, have been manipulating the lives of the Oceanic survivors in order to do its/their bidding and thus keep time flowing correctly, it makes sense to see this play out in this manner, with a few weeks of traditional Ben Linus horseplay driving everyone to the same place. It makes me even more certain that that’s where the show is headed.


    That said, some of the events from Jughead concern me. As we saw, Alpert is given the instruction to visit Locke by Locke himself, which means Locke’s life wasn’t interfered with by Alpert. I had thought that Alpert’s appearances were proof that he was involved in Locke’s ascendance, but now that I think about it, this only happened indirectly. Young Locke didn’t give a damn about Alpert’s first two attempts at directing him towards the island, though perhaps his foster mother’s insistence that he is special was borne of Alpert’s interest. The only person who does get Locke to travel “towards” the island (in that he got him to try to embark on a walkabout) is Matthew Abaddon, and he seems to have more to do with Widmore than Alpert. Perhaps all of this talk of Widmore and Ben being opponents mean nothing, and in fact they are both pawns of Alpert. That would be amusing: two boys fighting over the time-lost estate of their “father”.


    So is this further proof that the SoT theory is correct? Or not? Alpert’s frustration with Locke, and belief that he is on a mission when in fact he’s following dubious words from a man with a weird God complex, tend to suggest the web of time and space that has been woven is accidental, that there is no thought behind it. That would be similar to the SoT theory, but deeply ironic. Vonnegut would approve.

    So, Lost continues to give my brain a workout, but for the first time this season it also went all out to ravish my eyes. The first three episodes were as beautifully made as ever, but this week was something special. With my favourite Lost director Stephen Williams back behind the camera, this episode was even more beautiful than ever, daytime island scenes featuring lovely sharp colour contrasts…


    …fun compositions…


    …and even a shot that Sergio Leone would have approved of.


    The night scenes were particularly interesting. The Island Six have no means of lighting their way, and neither do Les Besixdouzers, so those scenes are as dark as they can be without being black. The scene where they rescue Jin was as close to blackness as I’ve seen a show get.


    All of the island characters are barely visible in these scenes, coming across as dark blue shapes within the murk. With the situation of the Island Six (now seven) becoming progressively worse, it’s an apt lighting scheme.


    Ah yes, the terrible illness of our heroes. All of these nosebleeds are turning the island into a verdant Royston Vasey. With the amount of time on the island being the thing that determines who gets ill and who doesn’t we’re given a vital clue as to Miles’ background, as he falls sick after Charlotte and before Juliet. Those internet theories about him being Dr. Pierre Chang’s son seem more plausible by the minute.


    At first I thought this explains how Faraday could be healthy enough to be sneaking into the Orchid station in the season opener, as he is the last person to get to the island, but of course he should be immune to all of this as Desmond is his Constant, and has moored his brain in time even as his body flips back and forth. The question of what he will do once he is there is one of the ones I want answered most this season. Does Faraday’s interference with the exotic matter in the frozen-donkey-wheel chamber bring about the incident that Swan station holds in check? (Looking at that ridiculous sentence makes me realise how much I love his show.)


    That said, even if I do love the show, I find it really really hard to muster any enthusiasm for Kate’s arc. It’s not that I don’t like Evangeline Lilly; I think she’s just fine, but she rarely gets anything interesting to do. In the first season she was like the cranky Spock to Jack’s grumpy Kirk, busting asses in his name while he took the moral high ground. Now she just sits in a car for the majority of an episode, and when action is called for Jack rushes off for her, though that’s got more to do with him needing a quick heroism fix.


    Her passiveness also makes a mockery of one beautifully composed shot early on in the episode, with her staring at a giant metaphor for her life, and the crossroads she finds herself at.


    Will she even be able to muster the energy to make a decision about her life? She’s been played so completely by Ben by now that she’s not even consciously doing anything about her fate, and is just going through all of her old behaviour patterns. Her rush from her house a couple of weeks back was just reflex, and barely even qualifies as a choice.


    Dang, I’m being hard on Kate. It’s unfortunate that, of the main characters, her arc is the least interesting, especially now Claire has gone. There is one thing Kate does very very well indeed, however, and that’s give Sawyer someone to pine for, and anything that gives Josh Holloway a chance to do his thing is fine by us. Though Kate’s flirting with Jack annoys me greatly, that love triangle remains interesting simply because Sawyer’s yearning is so damn heartbreaking. The Little Prince showed that pain at maximum strength, as the Island Six took a trip back a few months to Aaron’s birth. Not only did it elegantly remind us of the bond between Kate and Aaron (momentarily making me feel something for Kate and her fears for her adoptive son), it also made Sawyer’s sense of loss even more acute.


    I have no shame in admitting this, but Josh Holloway’s performance here made me blub yet again. Sawyer’s heartbreak, his desire to break the already bent laws of time to be with the woman he loves, was conveyed with full force. As I said earlier, the reveal of Jin is one of the greatest moments in this show’s history, but this scene, from Sawyer’s discovery of Kate and Claire to his flustered avoidance of nosy Locke, is right up there as well.


    Luckily for all of us, he still manages to get all of the best lines too. His reaction to their narrow escape was priceless.


    Love Sawyer, love Josh. Anyway, enough of the gushing. Usually I have more to say about the latest episode, but this week I have to admit all I could squeeze out after seeing it was, “Jin! Sawyer! Jin!”, so I’ll move onto the obligatory “Putting comments on my leftover screencaps” thing.

    Love Stephen Williams, and love his terrific work on the show, but Williams should have learned that if Michael “Super” Mann couldn’t make a rowboat chase exciting in Last of the Mohicans, he’s not got much chance here where there are no waterfalls, homicidal Wes Studis, or hotshot colonial battle heroes from “Kan-tuckee” to liven things up.


    I know that it is standard for life-rafts to have an octagon shape, but I’m equally sure it’s no coincidence that the life raft used by Les Besixdouzers resembles the Dharma logo.


    This is easily the most relaxed Sayid has ever been. Of course, this is merely a ruse. Underneath this calm exterior is fury incarnate, seething like the stormy seas from which Jin is rescued.


    Thirty seconds later, and he’s throttling this guy with the IV cannula he just pulled out of his arm.


    This goes on the list of most badass Sayid moments ever. Just the thought of pulling an IV out of my arm makes me want to vomit, faint, and go into a coma just to not think about it anymore, but Sayid does it, chokes a bitch, and then let’s him have it point blank with two tranq darts.


    And what’s Jack up to this week?


    That’s not sweat from exertion like the last time we saw him, believe me. He’s just wet. From the rain, I mean. Does he have penis envy when Sayid is around? Okay okay, Sayid is a former Republican Guard ninja, and Jack is a spinal surgeon, so you’d expect Sayid to be more of a hardass, but hey, Juliet is a fertility doctor, and she is a mean gun-toting mama and no mistake.


    Jack has no excuse.

    Speaking of Juliet, I get the feeling that her and Sawyer aren’t getting together after all. Her treatment of our rugged romantic hero was particularly tetchy this week.


    Though yeah, he wasn’t at his most charming either. Let the doctor inspect the haemorrhaging lady without yelling and being all sexy and that, James.


    Excellent visual callback to season one episode Deus Ex Machina.


    Even better is Locke’s admission that he realises that his belief in the light as some kind of sign was a big mistake. Perhaps meeting Alpert and realising that his destiny turns out to caused by his time-travelling and not by some supernatural force has not disappointed him. After all, he got what he wanted (control of the Others) even if it was only for a few minutes before they all got unstuck in time.

    Earlier in this post I made out that I suspected that Ben was behind the tribulations of the Oceanic Six, but even so, bringing Claire’s mom back as nothing more than a contrived red herring still worked.


    For a little while after seeing her in the previously, I really did suspect she was involved in terrorising Kate. Kudos, showrunners (yes, even co-writer Brian K. Vaughan, who is still on my shitlist after the last five issues of Y-The Last Man made me sob like Jack Shepherd jonesing for one woman or another).

    How far into the future is the trip taken by our heroes that left them at the mercy of a bunch of gun-having, camp-wrecking bastards? It can’t be that far, because surely far in the future we’re rid of damnable non-degradable water bottles.


    And what is Ajira, other than a cool viral thingy.

    Fun fact: the sign that the guy is holding up in the quick flash frame at 0:05 says John 3:16, Easter Egg fans!

    Sticking Hurley in jail seemed like an insurmountable obstacle to reuniting the Oceanic Six prior to returning to the island. I entertained visions of prison breaks, usually featuring King Badass Sayid creating his special brand of Jarrah-Havoc, but no, it’s all resolved with a quick lawyerly intervention. So, this was just a way to keep Hurley out of the way for a couple of episodes?


    At least it worked, I guess.

    Tonight, on US TV, airs the fun-sounding This Place Is Death. Here’s hoping it maintains the high-quality of the last two episodes, and keeps that rocket-like momentum going.

    Lost – Jughead

    ::Disclaimer: my usual efforts to post something about an episode of Lost before the transmission of the next fell apart a bit this week thanks to computer meltdowns (not our computer for once), weather troubles, and other distracting gubbins, so this post about Jughead (episode 5:03) is going out a day after the US broadcast of The Little Prince. I’m well aware that some of this may be already rendered moot, but for the benefit of UK readers, I’m posting it anyway.::

    Why did I doubt my beloved Lost? What was I thinking? Was it a brain parasite from the planet Lifehate IV? Is my consciousness travelling through time in a Billy-Pilgrim stylee? It’s ironic considering how often I bang on about how the show relies on faith not just thematically but as fuel. Without the fans sticking by it and accepting all sorts of weirdness and peculiarity, it would cease to exist. I’ll ponder that while I eat this humble pie.


    Why did I like this so much more than the previous episodes? Mainly it was because we didn’t get to see the Oceanic Six, whose convenient decision to convene in Los Angeles just in time to help Ben get them together is, at the moment, kinda dull and a little contrived. I say at the moment because for all we know there are forces coralling them together, though that’s speculative, and more than a little desperate on my part. (So soon I forget. Gotta have faith!)

    Instead of Sweaty Jack and Crazy Hurley, we got some top Desmond action, a few revelations about Faraday, who is increasingly looking like quite a bad man, and the introduction of a new dramatic element on the island that worries me greatly. I’ll get to that later. In the meantime, an observation; how obnoxious are the Hostiles?


    New character Ellie, seen above sucking an invisible time-travelling lemon while holding onto a WWII rifle, is a horrible brat, instantly achieving Gupta status by way of scrunching up her face, harassing everyone, and talking with a wheedling nasal drone. Ugh. Having her follow Faraday around irked the crap out of us, and only the very strong suspicion that she is Miss Hawking (whose first name is Eloise) and also possibly Faraday’s mom, keeps us from writing her off altogether. Still, at the end of the episode the Island Six quantum leap to a new time, so it’s possible we’re done with her for now.


    Still, she was merely a bit crap and aggressive. That’s nothing compared to the guy who momentarily went by the name Jones. His sour-face, murderous streak, arrogance and ignorance made Ellie’s flaws pale into insignificance. Of course, this memorably nasty piece of work just had to be someone more significant than Random Horrible Other #4. The reveal that this was a very young Charles Widmore was easily the highlight of the episode, and of the season so far.


    Of course it was inevitable that we would eventually find out some back story about Widmore, and it’s one of the best new features of this season’s time-hopping structure is that we get to see moments from the island’s past with those revelations we crave held back not through handy interruptions or statements like, “I cannot tell you that at this time,” but by the narrative device set up in the season opener. It makes a nice change to have our expectations confounded in this way. Last night we saw Doubt, which was okay and annoying in relatively equal measure, but exasperated us by having moments of revelation constantly interrupted by incessant phonecalls and knocked doors. Maybe on stage that shit gets a free pass (along with the desperately obvious metaphors like closing windows and lightbulbs popping), but onscreen it looks silly.

    Jughead’s other revelations were dubious, not counting the wonderful reveal that Penny and Desmond’s son was called Charlie, a moment that I’m sure made any Lost fan worth their salt choke up a bit. Besides that wonderful moment, we learned that Faraday was in love with Charlotte. Or was he? Proclaiming his love for her seemed sweet enough, but was it the truth? Was it merely a way to convince Alpert to let him access the bomb? Or, more likely, was it misplaced guilt over the condition of Teresa Spencer, the woman whose brain he wrecked through his time experiments?


    After all, Teresa looked awfully like Charlotte. This is something we’ll undoubtedly find out about in time, though considering her terrible condition at the end of the episode, and Faraday’s distraught reaction, maybe this is definitive?


    Of course, all of this might be unimportant, as this love story might just be a way to put Faraday on a path towards infiltrating the Orchid station in order to get his hands on that exotic matter behind the cave wall, as we saw in the season opener. His desire to save her, either because of love or guilt, is going to drive him to seriously mess with time. The other consquence is that we care deeply about Charlotte, who has been thinly sketched thus far. Now that she is shown being in love with someone the audience seems to like, we want her to survive and see her love reciprocated. Okay, I’m assuming a lot about the audience, but I know my initial apathy towards her has evaporated. Her barely suppressed glee at the possibility of Faraday sharing her feelings was her finest moment yet, and turned my opinion around 180 degrees.


    It doesn’t look good for her, though. At the end of the episode we see her haemorrhaging just like the previous timelost corpses, somehow having an adverse effect to the quantum leaping that the rest of the Island Six aren’t.


    Though that’s distressing, it was a nice bookmark to the opening of the episode, with Desmond panicking about Penny’s bloodloss during childbirth. (Extra awesome points for reversing their positions and their emotional states; Faraday’s terror and Desmond’s joy.)


    That’s not the only connection. Desmond also gets to endure an uncomfortable moment upon meeting Teresa Spencer’s sister, who criticises Faraday for leaving her with a comment about the sort of man who would abandon a woman, reminding us of Desmond’s abandonment of Penny years before.


    Perhaps it’s that shaming that propels Desmond towards his nemesis (and Faraday’s benefactor), Charles “Necksnapper” Widmore. Considering how scared of him Desmond is, he definitely needs an extra push to get it over with. His showdown was perfectly played, with Widmore in a state of panic over the fate of his daughter, knowing that Ben has vowed to kill her. Of course, telling Desmond that would have been helpful, especially now that Desmond is delivering his beloved to Ben, with Penny’s oblivious, yet fearful consent.


    All of this excitement, and none of it revolving around characters introduced in the first season. It’s a daring decision, sidelining the most familiar characters to concentrate instead on some n00bs. Of course, Faraday, Penny, Desmond and Miles are the most popular characters introduced late in the day (not counting the ever-awesome Ben), but even so, it’s a testament to the sprawling cast of characters that the show can make a choice like that and not only avoid censure by the fans but deliver an episode so highly praised.


    We still managed to get some quality time with Locke, who got to give Alpert the compass he received from him in the future. Nice that the show has delivered that moment so soon, thanks to the show’s truncated length. Of course, now we have the paradox of where the compass comes from. Where is the moment where it comes into either of their possession in the first place? Alpert gives it to Locke, but only because he receives it from Locke in the past. That means the compass is either a spontaneous generation of the universe trapped in a time loop, or it comes from before the initial looping and was just made somewhere and fell into the hands of… Well, someone. Even if the latter is the case, the show has been so careful with the tricks and traps of temporal displacement that we are viewing a fictional universe that won’t allow for the loop to ever have a beginning, as shown by the actions and fates of our heroes being decided by the ramifications of events that have yet to happen, like a closed system.


    In Alan Moore’s Watchmen, the omnipotent Dr. Manhattan describes time as a crystal, with every event happening at the same time. Mortals see time as a line, but he knows everything that has happened and will happen. If everything has already happened, everything would always have happened. The big bang didn’t just create an expanding universe in three spatial dimensions (or 10-D, or 26-D, depending on which theory you subscribe to), it also created an entire universe in the temporal dimension. We didn’t get one run-through before it was set in stone, which would allow for a compass to be created and then fall into a time-loop. Everything happened at once, meaning the compass has no point of origin. It just is.


    Consciousness is the thing that travels in a straight line through time, giving the illusion of the future is not set. When it goes right, that is. Poor Teresa Spencer’s consciousness, which is skipping about (though curiously not creating the horrible death we saw in The Constant) is hopping from point to point within that crystalline structure. Nevertheless, her body is not moving, just the ephemeral mind. As we’ve seen in Lost, until the islanders became unmoored in time, matter was not travelling through time, only consciousness. As the universe cannot handle a paradox whereby the chain of causality is changed, matter cannot be displaced or diverted or moved from one place in time. That’s why Desmond is able to take a trip back in time from future brain to past brain, but is stopped from changing time by Miss Hawking’s intervention (see previous discussions of Time Agents).


    However, we’re now seeing matter, that is the Island Six, moving around time on the island, with the past caused by the future and vice versa, with people like Alpert learning things about the future and then doing things that affect the future. The island is outside time itself, operating by its own rules and including these paradoxes. There’s always been talk of the island being inside a tesseract of some kind, and this theory suggests that is indeed the case. Or, you know, I’m totally wrong about this and am letting my own beliefs about the shape of time complicate my theorising. Ignore me, I’m just babbling by now.

    It’s great to have the show introducing elements that get me theorising again, even though it’s possible I’m chasing my tail here and we will eventually see the compass arrive on the island somehow, but despite my rise in enthusiasm caused by mad revelations and some nifty moments with Faraday and Sawyer, it wasn’t all great. In particular, I’m super-miffed at the introduction of a nuclear bomb onto the island. I know I’m not the first person to point out the rule of Chekhov’s Gun, but it does suggest that now, at a very late stage in the show, we’re seeing the object that will bring about the resolution of the story.


    At least, I assume it will. I have a feeling, if my Sirens of Titan theory is anywhere near correct, we will find that our heroes have had the course of their lives altered so as to channel them toward the fateful flight of Oceanic 815, where they play a part in maintaining the flow of time on the island by doing the things they have done during the run of the show. As has been seen, they had a dreadful life, not one of them happy. Without the interference of the island, perhaps they would have had a much happier existence. The finale could show the island being destroyed by the bomb, an action that somehow reverberates through time, erasing the influence of the island upon everyone attached to it. Once freed of the obligation to protect the island, the Oceanic passengers live happy lives, their personalities and psyches no longer distorted by the influence of the island and its time agents which, funnily enough, means that in a way the island really was Hell, as very early theories posited.

    Either that or the show will get rid of it well before then. The show has a history of introducing some game-changing element early in a season (Swan station, New Otherton, the Kahuna), and then getting rid of it or rendering it defunct by the time the finale rolls around. It could be that we lose the time-travelling at the end of season five, though I suspect that will go fairly soon, either because of the return of the Oceanic Six or due to Faraday’s inevitable intervention. Still, I hope the bomb will be used soon. As I dread the thought of being proved right more than making a fool of myself, I hope it does. So far the introduction of the bomb has made me uneasy about the future of the show, providing such a conventional way to resolve the story, though it did amuse me when Faraday tells Ellie to bury the bomband not worry about it as it hasn’t exploded fifty years hence. Time-travel humour!


    Right, this pointless post needs to be finished so I can get on with watching The Little Prince. Before I do that, the usual random guff. Here is Desmond in a cunning disguise at “Oxford University library”, which, I’m surprised to see, is a bit smaller than I had imagined. The glasses are a nice touch, but his lovely hair is a much bigger give-away than his eyes.


    Please can we give Miles more to do? He’s got a flashback coming up soon, right? His snarkiness is great, but I want something more meaty ASAP. I say this with no knowledge of what happens in The Little Prince. He’s probably doing all sorts of funky stuff and I’ll seem like a fool. Just bear with me! I had trouble finishing this on time because of a weird urge to watch the debacle called Max Payne really very important reasons.


    This is some of the best greenscreen work on the show so far. It took us a little while to adjust to the fact that it’s an effect, because that is very definitely a British street. It was almost as discombobulating as the bit in Guy Ritchie’s Snatch when you see Dennis Farina walking down a typical suburban street.


    Sawyer didn’t get much to do this week, though he did get a great “Son. Of. A. Bitch!” moment late in the episode. Are the writers including that phrase for the benefit of some drinking game? It’s every episode now. I’m not complaining. He’s up there with Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon films for great “son-of-a-bitch” enunciation.


    Remember I went on about how gorgeous this show is? I love that there is a constant reminder of that throughout. No wonder people are fighting for the island.


    Seriously, I really hated Ellie. I’ll file her alongside Harper Stanhope and Ana-Lucia in the Female Characters Who Make Me Growl Into A Cushion Like The Anger Management People Told Me column.


    Richard Alpert appears here as some kind of dark angel, with the tent acting as his wings. Yet again, we think of a character as having some kind of intrinsic good (he was eager to help Locke in the past, after all), but is this another visual clue that we should be wary of him too?


    Upon entering this tent to chat to Faraday, Alpert says, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” in a snarky way. I wonder if he taught Ben everything he know about being kinda douchey from time to time.


    This guy, who hassles Desmond while rummaging about in his old lab (yay for rat maze and pink laser cameos)…


    …is a dead ringer for Eric Powell’s The Goon.


    I was very surprised that Faraday knew all about Miles’ psychic abilities, but no one else I’ve spoken to seems to think that’s a big deal. Considering the physicist has taken it into his stride that he’s hanging around with a medium, you’d think it was significant considering how many scientific laws have just been broken.


    I love that Lostpedia considered this explosive moment an example of the black/white visual theme that runs through the show. It suggests it was done on purpose, but was it a lucky accident? Did episode director Rob Holcomb get a call from Lindelof and Cuse asking for some black and white in the shot? It strikes me as a bit of a stretch. Still, those Losties got blowed the fuck up. Sweet.


    They are getting together, right? Look at them! Now that’s what I call “Exotic matter”. Rowr rowr!


    Further strengthening of the theory that Ellie is Faraday’s mom; her first sight of him is made more dramatic by being down a rifle. The irony is that the man she is tempted to shoot is in fact her child and she doesn’t yet know it. Or the director was showing off. Or there haven’t been any game references for a while and so they stuck a nod to Medal of Honour in there (of course M1 Garand rifles are used throughout that game, and Lost soundtrack composer Michael Giacchino does the music for them, so it makes sense).


    OMG the Thames! Except you can’t really just sail your boat up it and just dock it outside the Aquarium. And the Thames? Has never been that blue. Unless there was once a dye spillage incident I’ve not heard of.


    Nothing else to say about this, really, other than that it’s great that the episode restored me to my usual boggle-eyed gleeful self after that silliness the week before. And now I shall watch The Little Prince and keep the dream alive. Right, US readers? It’s good, right? ::partially suppresses panic::

    ETA: Okay, I’ve seen The Little Prince. I was silly to worry, wasn’t I. UK readers who are going to see it on Sunday, prepare for XXXtreme awesomeness.

    Never Go Full Bateman

    I know, I hate linkblogging, but just as the internets goes crazy about it, I feel compelled to post this remix of Christian Bale’s masterpiece, “McG, you got fucking something to say to this prick?”

    Kudos to Revolucian for that. I’m tempted to get the RuPaul album as a thank you for making me laugh hard enough to hurt my guts just now. If I had been in the studio with him I would have asked him to include the little, “Ah-dada-dada,” tune he does about a minute in, but still, that’s great work. I found that on the AICN talkback a couple of minutes after my Hathaway-hating nemesis thechauffeur posted it elsewhere. Predictably, the AICN talkback is going back and forth on whether Bale is a galactic-level douche or not. That’s the bread and butter of the internet, of course, but you also get people reacting quickly and cutting and splicing stuff in honour of this monumental moment in pop culture history, which never fails to delight and impress me. Kudos also to BorschtKilmeister for this one.

    But is this meltdown as notable as this one?

    It upsets me greatly when Lily Tomlin bitches out Dustin Hoffman 2.0 (i.e. the new cuddly version of Hoffman who is an endless delight on talk shows). Or is this crazed rant the ultimate?

    That one, of course, inspired Paul Rudd and Michael Showalter (Thanks to Santanico for reminding me that existed). Maybe it’s best I don’t work in films. I’m not very good with confrontations.

    Oh, all of that is not safe for work, of course. And, apparently, neither is Bale.